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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Short Scripts  ›  A Girl's Best Friend Moderators: bert
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  Author    A Girl's Best Friend  (currently 6747 views)
DV44
Posted: July 21st, 2012, 1:58am Report to Moderator
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Hey Bill- Great job with this one. Funny how Mark thinks he's the man when really Stacy has the upper hand and has her revenge on him in the form of her best friend Thief. Poo=funny!
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Reef Dreamer
Posted: July 23rd, 2012, 2:18pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from DV44
Hey Bill- Great job with this one. Funny how Mark thinks he's the man when really Stacy has the upper hand and has her revenge on him in the form of her best friend Thief. Poo=funny!


Sorry, DV44, I missed your post.

First off, apologies I don't know/remember your name, unless you are actually called DV44. Whilst that could be weird it's also kind of cool, but I digress.

Thanks for the read, it's much appreciated.

This was one of my first and a useful exercise in marshalling a scene(s) working out the best order, finding a payoff to finish it off etc. there have been lots of different ideas suggested, and many would work, but it is what it is and whilst unlikely to be filmed because of the  dog/various scenes etc (having said that a crew are supposedly filming it - time will tell) it was fun to put together.

If you need something read let me know.

Cheers

Bill


My scripts  HERE

The Elevator Most Belonging To Alice - Semi Final Bluecat, Runner Up Nashville
Inner Journey - Page Awards Finalist - Bluecat semi final
Grieving Spell - winner - London Film Awards.  Third - Honolulu
Ultimate Weapon - Fresh Voices - second place
IMDb link... http://www.imdb.com/name/nm7062725/?ref_=tt_ov_wr
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Guest
Posted: February 19th, 2013, 7:04pm Report to Moderator
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Cute piece.  Mark is hilarious, classic jerk-off who thinks he gets all the ladies but in reality sounds like a total moron when he opens his mouth.  I liked it, but I’m disappointed too.  Thief could have crapped on Mark’s day a whole lot more.  I think girls will get a kick out of this one.  Cheating bf gets his in a different, unique way.  Just kick it up a notch on Thief - maybe add other gags beside the poop jokes.
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Reef Dreamer
Posted: February 20th, 2013, 4:54pm Report to Moderator
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Hey Reaper,

My third thanks for you reading my scripts - appreciated and rememebered.

This was only my third script, so early days for me. It has a soft spot for me as it was written for a competition with a 5/6 page limit whatever it was, so had to be condense. Fitting everything this proved to be a real education and improved my writing.

Glad you enjoyed.


My scripts  HERE

The Elevator Most Belonging To Alice - Semi Final Bluecat, Runner Up Nashville
Inner Journey - Page Awards Finalist - Bluecat semi final
Grieving Spell - winner - London Film Awards.  Third - Honolulu
Ultimate Weapon - Fresh Voices - second place
IMDb link... http://www.imdb.com/name/nm7062725/?ref_=tt_ov_wr
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Bogey
Posted: February 20th, 2013, 5:55pm Report to Moderator
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Ah, the things we do to get some  ---

Been there, done that, very real. Funny stuff.
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Reef Dreamer
Posted: February 21st, 2013, 6:16am Report to Moderator
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Thanks Bogey

Glad you enjoyed and thanks for the read.


My scripts  HERE

The Elevator Most Belonging To Alice - Semi Final Bluecat, Runner Up Nashville
Inner Journey - Page Awards Finalist - Bluecat semi final
Grieving Spell - winner - London Film Awards.  Third - Honolulu
Ultimate Weapon - Fresh Voices - second place
IMDb link... http://www.imdb.com/name/nm7062725/?ref_=tt_ov_wr
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JonP
Posted: February 22nd, 2015, 2:47am Report to Moderator
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Funny story.  Great gross-out humor.  His reaction to the warmth was hilarious.  Making it a one-two punch with the tripping was perfect.  Good thing he was wearing leather pants..er..trousers.

I got a little confused in two places:

The first was when he arrives at the pub to have a beer with his friend, shocks the couple (not clear on the lingo - suggestive of bestiality?), and decides to go to the park after all.  Why exactly?

The second was the ending.  I didn't realize that the girlfriend was in flashback until I re-read the last two scenes a couple times.  That undercut the climax for me.  If you could include (Flashback) or Previous Day in the slug line, that would clear that up so people can be free to enjoy the full gross-out effect.


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Reef Dreamer
Posted: February 22nd, 2015, 5:05am Report to Moderator
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Hey Jon

Thanks for digging this up. This is an oldie, one of my first scripts. I had to re read it to remind myself.

Answering you questions;

1] he doesn't go in the pub because the dog won't stop barking

2] Yes, the girlfriend was having her telephone conversation prior to Mark picking up the dog. She does say he's coming over that morning, which suggests its before he's arrived. We then find out from mark he's picked up the dog because she's not well, which suggests its already happened.

The key payoff is that she sends him out with Thief as revenge, rather than as favour. This we can only find out at the end but had to be a decision before he arrived that morning. Hope that makes sense.

Many thanks for the read, appreciated.


My scripts  HERE

The Elevator Most Belonging To Alice - Semi Final Bluecat, Runner Up Nashville
Inner Journey - Page Awards Finalist - Bluecat semi final
Grieving Spell - winner - London Film Awards.  Third - Honolulu
Ultimate Weapon - Fresh Voices - second place
IMDb link... http://www.imdb.com/name/nm7062725/?ref_=tt_ov_wr
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JonP
Posted: February 22nd, 2015, 5:15am Report to Moderator
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Ah, I see.  Yeah, I got that it was a revenge piece.  What I missed was that his scenes were a flash forward and that we were returning to "the present" with her.  There may have been an indication of that earlier that I didn't catch.  I like the way you played with time.  I just got a little lost in time.


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Lightfoot
Posted: February 22nd, 2015, 6:42pm Report to Moderator
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I enjoyed this very much,

I like how your writing flows too, this is something I need to get better at, to me my own writing seems stale and not very engaging, but yours is excellent, even though it's only 5 pages, the pages went by smoothly.

...and like all others have said, the comedy was great.
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Reef Dreamer
Posted: February 23rd, 2015, 9:04am Report to Moderator
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Hey Lightfoot,

Many thanks for the read.

I hadn't paid attention to this one for years, but after a quick read I'm glad to see it still holds up.

I think visual humor is really tricky to get across on the page. What is a funny walk etc? So I'm glad you liked it.

Thanks again.


My scripts  HERE

The Elevator Most Belonging To Alice - Semi Final Bluecat, Runner Up Nashville
Inner Journey - Page Awards Finalist - Bluecat semi final
Grieving Spell - winner - London Film Awards.  Third - Honolulu
Ultimate Weapon - Fresh Voices - second place
IMDb link... http://www.imdb.com/name/nm7062725/?ref_=tt_ov_wr
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