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Serial Killer (currently 5880 views) |
Alex_212 |
Posted: June 11th, 2012, 8:07pm |
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New Dog Eat Dog
LocationUtopia DownUnder Posts491 Posts Per Day 0.11 |
Thanks Steve and AsteroidJuice,
As mentioned it was the first script i completed and the other few shorts followed it.
I am learning quickly, and feel all the comments are constructive and i dont take anything to heart. You can only improve by listening to those who are the experts and I have learnt so much from all you guys in such a short time.
Asteroidjuice, i looked up Cereal Killer on youtube and there are many references to it though nothing similar where someone kills a box of cereal !! I have also written a much shorter version as a television commercial.
Regards Alex |
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Reply: 30 - 57 |
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tendai_moyo |
Posted: June 11th, 2012, 9:55pm |
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LocationInland Empire, CA Posts24 Posts Per Day 0.01 |
Alex,
I'll start off by agreeing with most everyone else in stating that the title (as well as the logline) made predicting the ending a simple chore. I was actually reading this, waiting for CK to stomp on a cereal box or something.
The actual script wasn't badly written. Though it did feel stretched out at places, I wouldn't necessarily say you're a bad written. Maybe just inexperience, as am I.
One thing that struck me as odd was the continual use of quotation marks around CK's name in the action. I don't know if it's official formatting protocol but I've never seen that before and it stood out in a sore thumb sort of way. |
| Signatures can be annoying, especially when they're pointless. |
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Revision History (1 edits) |
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Reply: 31 - 57 |
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Busy Little Bee |
Posted: June 19th, 2012, 10:24pm |
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January Project Group
LocationLos Angeles Posts324 Posts Per Day 0.05 |
Cereal takes forever to expire. BLB |
| Commodus: But the Emperor Claudius knew that they were up to something. He knew they were busy little bees. And one night he sat down with one of them and he looked at her and he said, "Tell me what you have been doing, busy little bee..." |
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Reply: 32 - 57 |
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Alex_212 |
Posted: June 20th, 2012, 2:33am |
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New Dog Eat Dog
LocationUtopia DownUnder Posts491 Posts Per Day 0.11 |
Thanks BLB but ironically not in my house. it never make it there.
Regards Alex
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Reply: 33 - 57 |
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Alex_212 |
Posted: June 28th, 2012, 8:27pm |
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New Dog Eat Dog
LocationUtopia DownUnder Posts491 Posts Per Day 0.11 |
Hello All,
Just thought I would bring this to the top to say thanks to all the SS members for their comments.
Just to let you know that I have signed of a non-exclusive with a production company in the states to undertake this one.
I hope to post the link when it is finished for all that contributed to see.
Once again thanks for your help, highly appreciated.
Regards Alex |
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Reply: 34 - 57 |
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Gage |
Posted: June 28th, 2012, 8:40pm |
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New
Posts221 Posts Per Day 0.05 |
Congrats and good luck, Alex!
Gage |
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Reply: 35 - 57 |
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blackpooler88 |
Posted: June 30th, 2012, 7:25pm |
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You seem to have done alright with your formatting...something im still working on. good job,but yes,cut back a bit on the detail and youll be looking good. |
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Reply: 36 - 57 |
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danbotha |
Posted: July 1st, 2012, 12:22am |
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Been Around
LocationWellington, New Zealand Posts700 Posts Per Day 0.16 |
Hello All,
Just thought I would bring this to the top to say thanks to all the SS members for their comments.
Just to let you know that I have signed of a non-exclusive with a production company in the states to undertake this one.
I hope to post the link when it is finished for all that contributed to see.
Once again thanks for your help, highly appreciated.
Regards Alex |
Awesome job, Alex! Always great to see active users on SS getting their deserved share of success. Great stuff! |
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Reply: 37 - 57 |
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DV44 |
Posted: July 20th, 2012, 10:51am |
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Been Around
LocationCalifornia Posts510 Posts Per Day 0.12 |
Very cool Alex- Can see this as a funny commercial. Good work. |
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Reply: 38 - 57 |
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Alex_212 |
Posted: July 21st, 2012, 12:52am |
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New Dog Eat Dog
LocationUtopia DownUnder Posts491 Posts Per Day 0.11 |
Thanks Dirk,
I do have a TV commercial version and where talking to a major cereal manufacturer though they where hard work to deal with, so I dropped them.
I received a link to the youtube trailer for "Serial Killer" today and will post the video when I work out how.
I can post the link to YouTube though would rather, post it so the video is visible on this thread.
Hopefully will do it soon
Alex |
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Revision History (1 edits) |
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Reply: 39 - 57 |
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DV44 |
Posted: July 21st, 2012, 1:25am |
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Been Around
LocationCalifornia Posts510 Posts Per Day 0.12 |
Congrats Alex- Hope the youtube video works out for you. |
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Reply: 40 - 57 |
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danbotha |
Posted: July 21st, 2012, 4:56am |
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Been Around
LocationWellington, New Zealand Posts700 Posts Per Day 0.16 |
Alex I think yet another congrats is in order.
Looks like you've signed the script over to people who know what they're doing. This trailer is well done.
Great job! |
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Reply: 41 - 57 |
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Alex_212 |
Posted: July 21st, 2012, 9:16am |
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New Dog Eat Dog
LocationUtopia DownUnder Posts491 Posts Per Day 0.11 |
Thanks Daniel,
There is something about the scream at the end that I don't like.
It sounds a bit ???? No idea !!! High pitched or something ?
Alex |
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Reply: 42 - 57 |
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danbotha |
Posted: July 21st, 2012, 5:03pm |
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Been Around
LocationWellington, New Zealand Posts700 Posts Per Day 0.16 |
I thought it sounded a little fake to be honest. Like one of those pre-made sound effects you get with your editing software... |
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Reply: 43 - 57 |
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Alex_212 |
Posted: July 21st, 2012, 6:12pm |
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New Dog Eat Dog
LocationUtopia DownUnder Posts491 Posts Per Day 0.11 |
Thanks Dan,
The director told me it was deliberate and wanted to make it cheesy as a kind of , shot at the traditional serial killer type movies.
I guess that is understandable when you see the end of the full version.
I believe editing of the full version is complete and they are working on the music.
Regards Alex |
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Revision History (1 edits) |
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Reply: 44 - 57 |
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