Creepy story, nice misdirection with the doll but I don't get the ending. I read through all the replies here and everyone else seems to get it but I don't, so I feel stupid now.

SPOILERS AHEAD

I get that the doll is not possessed and it's the ghost all along but I don't get the note:

"FOR THE GIRL UNDER MY BED. PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE."

Who wrote that note? If the ghost then is she talking about herself coz the ghost is already under the bed.

Ahh I just read it again and I see the girl wrote it, not the ghost. I see now why so many people are going on about the age of the girl.

It doesn't make sense for a college girl to knowingly sleep on a haunted bed or use a doll as an offering, that's something a child would do.  A child trapped in their bedroom and isn't believed by her parents when she tried to tell them there's a ghost girl under her bed. A child who's only option is to try and give the ghost a present in a desperate attempt to make it like her, become her friend.


Anyway just my opinion. At least I don't feel so silly now

Quoted from RegularJohn Hey Chris. Great job with this one.  The writing was visual and compelling without the need for dialogue. The only suggestion I would make would be to exclude the ghost itself.  By that I mean not showing the hand and face.  There's nothing wrong with the way it's written as is but one theory I have about horror is that the thing that scares us the most are our own imaginations and the things we can't see. After the doll goes flying across the room and Caitlin sees the condition of the doll, I would include a dragging of the scissors.  You may need to include Caitlin seeing where the scissors are during the night before the doll disappears and then show that it's missing after the sound.  Again, just my opinion. In either case, great job. Johnny

I agree whole heartedly with Johnny on both counts. A very creepy story and an excellent read. Unfortunately I'm a bit late to the party and don't have anything to add that anyone else hasn't already said.

I really could see this getting produced. Best of luck. After reading the other comments I'm going to check out 'Hiccups'. If it's anything like this I should be in for a treat.

Not much to say here except well done. Not much of a horror fan myself, but this was easy to picture in my head. Probably more better to see it in live form than in written from, but nevertheless, very well written. Kudos

Chris

Great job.

I was wondering what she was writing on the nametag, who she was sending to and anticipated that it wouldn’t be referred to again and instead we’d just have the doll come alive to terrorize her before cutting to black...I’m glad I was wrong, the twist was brilliant, never saw it coming, beautifully played.

One reservation I would have is to not show the face at the very end. The hand going for the scissors maybe or perhaps just nothing but a rumble or a flutter of the bed skirt. It’s that old fear of the unknown, the unseen. I mean, you only give us “scowling face” anyway which is so vague it’s almost superfluous, definitely best to leave it unseen, in my humble…

Nice work.

Col.

I agree with Col and a few others, leave the face out. Well written, fast paced, and love the no dialogue. The only fault that I have with this is the sound effects. I found it let down the script.

Good luck with this

Lee

Coming soon!  

(Special thanks to Sean "Zombie Sean" Elwood for this fantastic poster!)

Congratulations, Chris!

Sean is an amazing artist!...I have some of his "doodlings" at my house. I just need to frame them.  

Congrats and love the poster!

Been a couple months with no update. The film is finished and beginning the festival circuit. I'm excited to see what happens next.

It's also on IMDb: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt4205940/?ref_=nm_flmg_wr_1

Good luck, and congrats Chris. Look forward to seeing this.

Congrats. And wish you much success.

"The Doll" is now online!

You can view the film below:

The Doll from Atomic Feist Productions on Vimeo.

Enjoy!

Congratulations.  I remember reading this a while back -- great to see it filmed.  I forgot about the message on the gift tag -- that's where this really creeps me out.

Congrts Sham, nicely shot!

Anthony

Awesome Chris, looks great

Mark