Hi Christopher,

This made me laugh at the end, I was kind of hoping he would just leave at the sidewalk after she said she was a vegetarian. As obvious as it may be it was still funny.

It's a little repetitive and over written in areas but nothing that you can't fix.

When Pete first entered the house and met the first son I thought it was going to turn into the dr pepper advert with pete fighting and the daughter coming down stairs, the set up was very similar.

Either way this had comedy value so well done.

Lee

Hey, Christopher.

It's a funny premise for a short sketch. I am familiar with the premise but you gave it a new setting. As a sketch it works. As a short - it needs more, a little about Pete as he's just hanging there.
But I don't think you need to transform it into a full-blown short, it's good for a quick chuckle at the end and I think you better leave it at that.
Just fix the writing - you can't cap words after a coma - I noticed that in two places, on p7 for example "A few awkward moments..."
This part here:
EMMA
Where are we going for our date?
PETE
Were gonna go to the new steakhouse that just opened up

Sounds very stilted.
Overall you could retool some of the dialog, to make it flow better in my opinion.

Hi Christopher

As has already been mentioned the writing needs trimming and the dialogue tweaking. You are planning on making this yourself so you'll see how the words on the paper translate to the screen and learn a lot from this I'm sure.

It does work as a sketch and there's comedy there for sure but there's a big difference between a sketch with a punchline and a short trying to tell a story. Also, there's a whole bunch of very talented guys on the internet making hilarious sketches; that's your competition. Check out guys like http://www.collegehumour.com and compare what you are writing and decide if you need to up the comedy a notch or two.  

Best of luck with this,

Mark