I really didn't want this to be complicated.

I took the idiom, "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink it" and proved it wrong. I got the horse to drink the water.  

It's fucked up on how it happens, but it does. They're certain types of jokes in comedy that are taboo but, it's funny. This is one of them.  

But I guess Eric's right. I might have to add backstory to this. Or how about having the horse bad mouth the farmer in that opening dialogue when he's saying no? Will that be sufficient?

Apprecaite the reads. And as always, I take all reviews into consideration when I rewrite. Got to smash a few eggs before you can make a omellete.

I honestly went with this version of the joke since the other idea would have had the farmer forcing the horse's head into the water. I get a couple laughs with the mace version from people when I say it so I figured let me write it down.

Gabe

Yeah, you'll be hard pressed to find anyone who's on the side of the farmer.  Animal cruelty sucks.  It's a pretty terrible thing.  Then again it's not like this is a serious piece.  You have a talking horse.  So if I was you I'd probably look at a few of the comments and try working them into the story, which will of course add more to the page count.

Maybe you could make the farmer a sadistic alcoholic who treats his animals like shit and at some point he gets his.  Maybe the horse back kicks him into the well or something.  Or maybe the horse is the one who's the asshole, like someone else said.  I don't know, really.  It does have a sort of wacky, over the top, cartoonish-type feel to it, that's for sure - a talking horse, a farmer spraying the horse with mace, then winking at the camera.  It's a little warped. haha.  Nothing else to say but the dialogue felt flat and cold, but that's probably because this was only a one pager and there's really no room for breathing.

Thanks deadite

I'll come back to this after awhile. I'm a slow writer.

Gabe

I think Eric nailed it. It's been proven that people get more upset about cruelty to animals than cruelty to other humans. For this to work, we need to hate the horse and be on the farmer's side.

One thing that sets this up wrong right away is the poster. Isn't that Mr. Ed? It's a beautiful horse and it looks very nice and friendly. We don't want anything mean to happen to it. Why not have a poster with an angry horse. Pinned back ears, a hind leg lifted threatening to kick. The farmer should be nice, but struggles with this mean horse. Then we won't feel so bad when the horse gets his.  

Good point Pia.

Shit. I'll see if I can change poster soon. I liked the poster due to the guys smile. But I've found a poster that fits well.

Gabe

I'm going through the comedy shorts list one by one and your's is the first so far that actually made me physically laugh. I liked it.... I totally get it....dark comedy, dam stubborn horses... when will they do what we tell them.... when we mase them. I think the farmer looking into the camera and showing us the mace is great. It would be too sadistic if it wasn't there. To me it's showing us the farmer winning this time.  

Thanks Kirsten for the read.

Glad you saw the dark comedy. One of my first forays into comedy. Lol. If u would like a read, let me know.

Thanks again
Gabe