Revised draft up.  I took a lot of the suggestions that were posted.  Thank you!  Keep 'em coming.

Hi Ben,

I like the madness in this from start to finish, there is something comical about here.
I thought the writing was ok but could be delivered a little better, simplify a few sentences etc.

I don't think there is any need to write for example; "Mrs Pembry" a space, then her action, it just doesn't help with the flow.

I was expecting something more at the end. I was kinda hoping for all guns blazing to be honest, or maybe even a Mexican stand off?
You might as well go over the top, he has just completely lost the plot over his car not starting, so why not?
Could make for a better ending than just a police officer cuffing him, bit of a cop out. (Pardon the punt)

Just my opinion of course.

Hi Lee,

Thanks for taking the time to read the script and comment.

Yeah, I'm constantly trying to simplify and improve the flow, those are all good suggestions.

As for the ending, I don't want him to die or kill anyone.  The point is that all hope is not lost, so guns blazing wouldn't accomplish that, lol.  End through it's over-the-top, I want it to be grounded in reality to some degree.

I see where you are going with this. I'm all about keeping things grounded, I always think it makes for a better movie.

As i'm reading, things are moving on swiftly. it's just till I get to the end where I was hoping for  something more than an arrest. Maybe there should be something more here?
Perhaps making the wife more of a b****? This perhaps being the real reason why Mr. Pembry has this blow out, yes the car tips him over the edge but he refuses to take it out on his wife because he loves her so much.
There is reasoning then for things to go from bad to worse,  This outrage is his way of confronting his wife.
I think that the police officers will show sympathy here and try and resolve the situation, well, so you could lead us to believe.