Hey Angry Bear. Thanks for the read and the comments.

Thanks for spotting the errors with formatting, typos etc. No matter how much I tidy this up there's still some hanging around lol!

Anna is smiling because she's not a complicated person. She's lead a simple life and likes to see the good in everybody. She's on antidepressents and anti-anxiety medication trying to cope bringing three kids up on her own after her husband passed away.

One of those kids is an angry hormonal teenager from hell who's also dealing with the loss of her daddy in her own way.

Anyone who's experienced a teenager knows that they can be unpleasent at times. Carla is gorgeous and knows it as well, she's trying to escape her mom's fate (a normal, mundane life as she sees it) and thinks using her looks can help her achieve that. She isn't a bad person, she's just dealing with a lot of issues in an unhealthy way. If you look around the social network sites you'll find many Carla's trying to get noticed and a lot of them have their amazon wish lists, private websites etc.

Carla's lesson is she gets to experience her family massacared under her nose while she is obsessed with self. She is then murdered under terrifying conditions. Is that not a lesson enough? What happens to her feels real and maybe it is? It's a massive wake up call and her second chance gives her a few precious minutes with which to act.

Melvin and Isabella do what they want, when they want without any morals or empathy. They are a couple of Psychopaths which is why they were locked up. Their escape from the asylum has been reported on the news, they kill the whole family just coz Carla's taken some photos of them and will upload them to the internet as soon as she gets a signal. Isabella's complete lack of empathy over killing the kids and mom, the body in the truck - all point towards a couple of nutters lol. Melvin saying they were locked up because they liked each other - well that's just crazy talk from a delusional mind

I know I never come flat out and say all that direct with on the nose dialogue but there's subtext in the script to let the audience know and bridge these gaps but maybe it's not obvious enough.  



Thanks again for the read and comments.

I'm very pleased, excited (and extremely nervous lol) to announce this script is now in pre-production. Shooting is scheduled for late November. I've removed the drop-box link for the script for now, it's going through a lot of changes anyway.

I'd like to thank everyone who commented on this and offered criticism. When you get everyone saying similar things it makes you sit up and take a look at what they are saying. When the Director started echoing  the comments on this forum, I knew I needed to make changes, so the second half of this script has changed considerably. I think the new direction is better, let's hope it turns out that way.

Good luck, mate.

Congratulations, Mark! This had some terrific moments from what I recall - not suprised it got picked up.

Congrats Mark, good luck with filming.

Anthony

Just a little update for those interested. Filming has finished and we are onto Post-Production. It was...challenging to say the least.

A little car accident at the airport, police interference/fine on location the second day of filming (we got shut down by a woman running a horse show that called the police lol) last minute crew cancellations and replacements, an insane agent and stage mom later, somehow we've successfully wrapped the film, and we actually got everything we need.

I've seen some pics and the footage looks stunning (it was shot on a Red Dragon camera) so we're working on a Facebook page and a teaser trailer now, I'll pop link to it on here when it is ready.

Quoted from MarkRenshaw A little car accident at the airport, police interference/fine on location the second day of filming (we got shut down by a woman running a horse show that called the police lol) last minute crew cancellations and replacements, an insane agent and stage mom later, somehow we've successfully wrapped the film, and we actually got everything we need.

Will you hold it against me if I say that sounds more interesting than the script itself?

Congrats on the wrap and good luck with post-production. Looking forward to the teaser trailer.

The teaser trailer is ready

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qCzJ6fMG4XU

Mark Writes:

A script of mine that was original posted on your site in the Short Section has been produced.  

I ended up producing it myself. I teamed up with a couple of producer friends in the states (I'm based in the UK) and they found me a director in LA who was interested in directing it. We've spent the last 5 months making it but it's finally out and I'm very proud of it.

[...] I've put the first draft up on my dropbox here.

I've also uploaded the final draft we used for shooting, which is quite a bit different.

Even then the finished product did differ from the script in some areas because we ran into trouble during the shoot and had to improvise some scenes. Then of course post-production did change the flow of certain key points.

The movie is here - https://vimeo.com/120443231

We are entering it into a few film festivals to see how it does. I just thought I'd share for now in case anyone would like to see how much a script can change during production. I learned a hell of a lot participating on your forums so it would be nice to give something back.

Cheers,

Mark

No More Tomorrows from Saga Flight on Vimeo.

A self centered young woman on a family road trip encounters two strangers who are far more dangerous than they appear. As fate intervenes, she has to find the courage to learn to live for today if her family have any chance to see another tomorrow.

Very nice, congrats! I'll watch it later.

Well written, even if changed for the actual shooting... well acted. Polished. Congrats. This is a nice one.

Quoted from Don I ended up producing it myself... We've spent the last 5 months making it but it's finally out and I'm very proud of it. [...] I've put the first draft up on my dropbox here. I've also uploaded the final draft we used for shooting, which is quite a bit different. Even then the finished product did differ from the script in some areas because we ran into trouble during the shoot and had to improvise some scenes. Then of course post-production did change the flow of certain key points. The movie is here - https://vimeo.com/120443231

First, congratulations, Mark.

Second, even as writer/director/producer things change from script-to-screen.



Bones.
Write good bones because that's all that will remain once the screenplay pig goes through the production python.

Paper. Reality. Two different things.

Wow beautiful camera work here Mark. Congrats!!! This looks GREAT!

Thanks all. This has been such a learning experience. We've just been officially selected for our first festival so we'll see how it fares it the crazy world of the festival circuit.

Mark

First off, congrats on getting this filmed.

I remember reading this script some months back and enjoying it...with some reservations. However, above all it was memorable and provoked discussion which is always a good thing.

The film looks fantastic, great production values and the performances are all very accomplished. A credit to everyone involved.

I was really engaged with the film until about the 8th minute or so until the twist happens. When I read the script my issue was more with Carla turning into some a?s kicking action hero when reliving the confrontation a second time, here it was just a little confusing as to what actually happens. One second she's shot in the back of the head the next she's back in the forest again going over the same events, with only a brief, recapping montage in between.

Its all a bit abstract and vague which is probably the intention. I can appreciate that its just one of those indefinable, interpretive moments with which you're expected to go while  the V.O. inflects the sequence with the central theme of living each each day and not planning for tomorrow, etc. I guess I wanted more in the way of continuity without it getting too literal or grounded in reality.

Plus, I'm thinking how those who haven't read the scrip would respond to it.

In the script, if I remember correctly, Carla has a foreshadowing dream in the car which gives her a opportunity to change her fate with the benefit of a new perspective but here we get some flashbacks to her taking photos on the bed, her being more happy and content in the car, before we're back in the forest again. I wondered how far back she went in the second timeline (that morning perhaps, she had the foreshadowing dream during the night?) as there is a rewind sequence that seems to stop right before Carla and the guy walk off alone together which is when where she altars her destiny.

On that note, its interesting to see the changes it went through from the draft I read compared to the finished film. Now Carla alters events by basically saying what the guy wants to hear, espousing peace, love and understanding instead of going all Gina Carano on their a?s as per the script. I'm not sure if I buy his change of heart but since he's portrayed as unpredictable and unhinged, this kind of volatility fits his character.

Anyway, once again, great job on getting this on screen, you should be proud.

Col.