Hey Greg

I read this yesterday but didn't have time to write a comment.

I agree with some of the previous posts; this could be trimmed to about 7-8 pages as some actions could be pushed together.  I also did wonder why Phil didn't just throw the kettle out?

As for Phil not just throwing the kettle out, well I guess the script wouldn't be as funny if he did.

I actually loved the quirkiness of this script.  I imagined it played out straight which would actually make if even funnier.  I couldn't help picture a 'Ripping Yarns' type style...I don't know why lol.

Anyway, it was a great little piece.

Alffy,

Thanks for your kind words.

Straight is how it should be played. I imagine the structure and tone of it as something akin to a psychological thriller. But in this case the antagonist is an inanimate kitchen appliance.

Anyway, cheers for taking a look.

-------------------------------------------------

Also, for anyone who sees this, I've just recieved an email from a young filmmaker looking to film this script. I replied with some basic questions, and I now await a reply.

But if anyone has any sage advice on how to approach this I'd be very grateful. This is a first for me. I'm sure I saw a thread on this very subject somewhere but I can't find it again.

Quoted from GregT Also, for anyone who sees this, I've just recieved an email from a young filmmaker looking to film this script. I replied with some basic questions, and I now await a reply. But if anyone has any sage advice on how to approach this I'd be very grateful. This is a first for me. I'm sure I saw a thread on this very subject somewhere but I can't find it again.

This:

http://www.simplyscripts.net/cgi-bin/Blah/Blah.pl?b-screenwrite/m-1254958906/

Congrats on the read request Greg, my experience/advice...

Follow up at least once, I usually give them 2-3 weeks and then ask what they thought of it (occasionally you get feedback even if they don't use the script) and if they have any interest in taking it forward - nice and friendly like

Assuming they comeback to you and want to use the script here's what I've learnt

1) It's rare to get paid for short scripts BUT it does happen, certainly no harm in asking if they have a budget for script purchase... about 40% of the ones I've 'sold' have been for $s, the rest...

2) Even if they dont have a purchase budget I usually ask for a % of profits type deal, e.g. 10% of back end profits... most shorts never make a profit so it's often X% of nothing... but just in case it does make money then you'll see some (I also think it looks professional and acknowledges there is a value to our craft)

3) If it is a % back end type deal I often state that they have non exclusive rights, i.e. if someone else wants to use the script they can. No harm in two or three student film makers putting their own spin on the script. Of course in this case all parties need to be comfortable. (I will drop this stipulation if an issue).

4) Be prepared to re-write to suit both the Prod/Dirs taste as well as there limitation they might have in terms of locations, actors etc.

5) Always state the writing credit you expect on the film, Written By is standard. And try and understand what they intend to do with the film once finished, is it just for course work, they intend to submit to festivals etc... once you know what they intend see if that can get you an IMDB credit.

6) If an amateur/student production then they will invariably shoot the film a lot later than they originally state, things just come up! So patience is a virtue.

If you have any specific questions just PM me and fingers crossed.

Cheers

Anthony

Bert - That's the link I was looking for. Cheers.


Anthony - You've covered all of my main concerns there. Going by the initial email it is an amateur production. Which is fine by me, of course.

I'll wait for a reply before saying any more.

Thanks again, Anthony. My experience of this site has been very fruitful thus far.

Pleasure Greg - and yes SS is a great site!

Hi Greg,

Loved the script and I'm glad it's getting some attention from potential producers.

I have mixed feelings about the story though. Some great comedy moments and dialogue. The problem is the kettle's omnipotence causes issues. It has self-awareness, it can move itself and other items plus it can generate electricity not only to power itself but for the TV and presumably any other electrical device it wants to. You make it too powerful. The audience won't believe taking the cable out will make any difference so the punchline in the letter is lost. Nor will throwing it away based on the kettle's demonstration of power; neither should Phil believe it but in the script he does.  

Poor Phil is terrorised so much by a supernatural entity and yet he seems pretty much unfazed by it all. This is a comedy sure, but Phil doesn't react very much like most people would under the same circumstances. All he seems bothered about is getting a cup of coffee unmolested by a possessed kettle.

I also must admit I didn't get the ending. What did the advert signify? Why was he so afraid? Had the kettle come back or was the TV just showing that advert randomly?

The script is funny, well written and it's a great idea. The formatting issues have already been mentioned but I suggest you have another pass at this, give the kettle some boundaries Phil can try to use to his advantage (but ultimately lose ofc) and make this a real mind game that tests Phil's sanity. Maybe you can have him get a priest over to try and get him to exorcise it? lol!

They are only suggestions though, you stick with what feels right to you and the very best of luck with this.

Mark  

Mark,

Thanks for taking the time to give me some feedback.

You make some fair points, and looking at the story as it is, I would agree that there is room for expansion.

As for the believability of the story, I would only point out that it is very much meant to be in a surreal tone, the kind of thing that would rely on good use of style were it ever to be filmed. It was written to be short and sweet, and hopefully funny.

The ending was supposed to be a sign that the new kettle wants the same thing as the old kettle, and Phil is in for the same struggle all over again.

Thanks again for the kind words.

Greg

I've recently recieved word from a director that he's finished filming 'Phil and The Kettle', and it should be ready within the next month.

Is this a shameless bit of self-congratulations? Possibly. But I'd just like to take this opportunity to say that SimplyScripts has been absolutely brilliant for me. Before coming here, I'd never had anyone read my stuff. Ever! The confidence boost has been integral in driving me on ever further. All in all I've been contacted by seven directors/producers who wanted to film this short, from LA to Sweden.

Of course, to quote a certain Winston Churchill, this is not the end, nor is it the beginning of the end, it is merely the end of the beginning. I still have a lot to learn, the process never stops.

Haven't been around here in a while, but I might have something ready within the next wee while.

Thanks to anyone who ever gave me some feedback.

Greg

Congrats Greg - great to hear and look forward to seeing the film shortly.

Anthony

Filmed as "The Coffee Maker from Hell"

The Coffee Maker from Hell from Jeasley on Vimeo.

Just read the script, would have to say it’s probably the funniest ones I’ve read since I've been on SS. What a great character you created in Phil.

Just fantastic.

They did a pretty good job with the film as well.

Congrats