Kyle

Not bad for a 4 pager.

You got the sense of what was going down from the opening dialogue, which isn’t a criticism by the way. There is suitable wistfulness to their conversation that suggests regret, defeat, having reached a point of no return. Seeing it on screen with the striking coastline would go a long way to imbuing their dialogue with its intended meaning and weight. Reading it on the page (understandably) doesn’t quite convey that.

The flashbacks were intercut well with the present day scenes and their decision to not jump but to go out  (sort of) fighting was a nice touch as most will expect them to go out Thelma and Louise style.

Col.

Thanks Col.

I've had a bit of interest in this, so hopefully something will happen with it.