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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Short Scripts  ›  There Is No Santa Moderators: bert
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Don
Posted: January 25th, 2015, 1:24pm Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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There Is No Santa by Chris Westfield - Short, Family Film - Twas the night before Christmas and a precociously little girl questions the existence of Santa, using her camcorder to prove it. 5 pages - pdf, format


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Lightfoot
Posted: January 25th, 2015, 1:55pm Report to Moderator
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Man this is like the ending to Inception all over again, you see the top spinning, starting to wobble, then it cuts to black.

You see that spit shined boot, you think you know who it is, you get ready to say " no, it's just something in my eye" then it cuts to black....the excitement mounts and it...cuts...to...black! haha

Loved it.
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Stumpzian
Posted: January 25th, 2015, 3:20pm Report to Moderator
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I like it, especially as a short "family film," as the logline says. (Should be precocious, without the "ly.")

Your writing is confident and serves the story well. This is really evident at the conclusion.

I did do a doubletake when you used the old movie cliche ("it's quiet. Too quiet), in this case silent, too silent. But maybe you did it on purpose.

Henry



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