Armageddon by Richard Russell - Short, Drama - All a woman has to do to save the world is screw an angel.  Maybe. 10 pages - pdf, format

Richard,

No comments on this so I thought it would be all over the place but it was easy to follow and read OK.

Storywise it didn't do anything for me. SPOILERS ahead - Gabriel didn't convince me he could talk Tracy into bed with him. It didn't grip me and the end was not satisfying but that's just my personal opinion.

-Mark  

Mark,

Thanks for the feedback.  I think you're right about old Gabe.  She seems to  jump a mite early.

Best
Richard

Hi Richard took  quick read, few thoughts, just my opinion of course.

I like the central idea of a blog having that butterfly effect and the setup works.

What worked less for me was the dialogue led nature of the bar scene, just didn't feel right as she seems to change her mind too easily.

I think this could be addressed and made to work better, if perhaps she was shown as being more religious and perhaps if he gave her more reason to belive he was an angel, glimpse of halo, water to wine sort of thing.

Given the twist with the blog I almost exected the end to reveal a fallen angel was impersonating Gabriel...

Decent effort.

Anthony

Anthony,

Thanks for the feedback.  Obviously, I didn't get across what I intended.  My problem with the angel proving he's an angel is that if he does, she won't think he's Lance's asshole friend.  She won't write the blog, and it's Gabe's job to get her to write that blog.  thanks, but it's back to work on this.

Best
Richard