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The Elevator Most Belonging To Alice - Semi Final Bluecat, Runner Up Nashville Inner Journey - Page Awards Finalist - Bluecat semi final Grieving Spell - winner - London Film Awards. Third - Honolulu Ultimate Weapon - Fresh Voices - second place IMDb link... http://www.imdb.com/name/nm7062725/?ref_=tt_ov_wr
As per my previous replies in other threads, your feedback is very much appreciated but I'm not looking for peer reviews and don't want to waste people's time. .
Hey CJ - put this up front in the thread when your scripts are posted and mission accomplished.
A lot of people get irony wrong and it really is all Alanis Morissette's fault. .
I personally like Jagged Little Pill - my daughters played it all the time and I just got hooked. That being said I would tell my girls that Irony = the fact that "Isn't it Ironic" contained no irony.
I enjoyed this. Even before reading the comments I envisioned this playing out as a Rodriguezesque short. The world it's set in very much resembles that of Machete with a hint of Desperado.
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La Llorona aims for the Guy's head. Point blank. BANG! Clean up on aisle three. The Woman screams. La Llorana screams back at her amused.
Why not use that as a one-liner? Not super original but still funny.
As pointed out by many before, you write very well, especially humour. One of my favourites is the salesclerk's "joint gym membership" line. One part I didn't get was the reveal of the cop. Is she undercover (probably not, seeing as how she didn't even blink when La Llorana capped that guy in cold ice) or is she just corrupt? In either case it's not entirely clear to me.
As for the nonsensical irony debate: robbers dressed as luchadores who unexpectedly end up having to resort to luchardor-like battle tactics seems indeed quite ironic to me. Why? Irony: state of affairs or an event that seems deliberately contrary to what one expects and is often amusing as a result. Check and check.
Those tracks are expensive, we ended up making our own... well, my mate did, I'm useless at things like that. Good luck with it and hopefully it brings good things to all involved.
Thanks for your kind words. They are appreciated. I have no beef with anyone here. As stated by Dustin, I do have a very fragile ego. I have taken my meds now.
Hope we see more from you CJ - both in terms of offering and accepting critiques. For the time being, I will continue to respect your desire not to receive comments on scripts (although, again - I wish you would post that right up front when your work is posted on this site so folks don't waste their time commenting).
I do think it is a bit of a shame that you are not at the interaction level is I do think you have a very unique writing voice and much to offer. Personally I have found that my own writing has improved greatly from the comments here - but it did take some getting use to in terms of the harsher ones. After awhile, it does become like water off the back of a duck. Best of luck with this project - I think you have talent.
I have noticed your respectful response to my not taking part in peer feedback and I do appreciate it. It's been a real shame that I've had to action my no-solicited-feedback policy on Simply Scripts as it is one of the most courteous communities I've seen blessed with a high degree of talent. Although I've only been writing since 2012, I have been through the feedback mill and developed a degree of indifference to both overly kind and overly curt responses. First through the Blacklist, then Amazon Studios, Done Deal Pro, Stage 32, ScriptNoted, plus of course competition feedback. Like most writers who share their work, I've been cut down many times, sometimes for my own good, sometimes in exchange for payment, and sometimes for another's satisfaction.
I love engaging with other writers and talking craft. I'm lucky enough to have a good reputation within communities like Stage 32 where I've made many dear friends, some of which also frequent this forum. I'm very passionate about screenwriting and spend a lot of my time studying elements of it. What I don't like doing is focusing on an individual's work, be it mine or anybody else's. This is for a multitude of reasons based on my own experience of peer-feedback.
My writing is like greasy diner burgers, cheap and nasty. I'm happiest in that zone for some reason. I also struggle a great deal with spelling and grammar. I don't know why this is, but it's akin to a love of playing instruments with a fundamental difficulty reading and writing music - it's incredibly frustrating and has haunted me all my life. It's one of the core reasons I didn't attempt writing as a hobby until a few years ago. Compounding these issues is my obvious preferred tone and influences. Historically feedback has always pulled me off target and caused me to chase my tail, sometimes to the detriment of my scripts which end up in a conflicted state.
Basically, and this may come across as somewhat selfish, I'd rather be a happy writer first and a better writer second. My philosophy is that the former leads to the latter. Plus ignorance is bliss, and I'm not chasing any kind of screenwriting career.
When it comes to giving feedback, I do find time to do this privately with a few contacts. I would like to do it more for those that request it, and I'd love to be a part of Shootin' The Shorts at some point, but I'm just not in the place to do that right now.
This all said, I do hope to interact more here as I'm so impressed with the discussions I've seen, but life is getting in the way right now and there's a few hurdles to get over yet. But sincerely, I appreciate the sentiment of what you are saying, and do aim to contribute more proactively in the future.
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El Paso Loco Luchadoras
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