The Monster at Green Creek by Sarah Brims - Short, Thriller - A beautiful girl is found dead at Green Creek. Three students linked to her, are interrogated into the happenings the night of the incident.  30 pages - pdf, format

Nice opening image.

Too many characters for a short, which makes it hard to produce unless you're doing this  yourself.

The flashbacks by page 7 is what stopped it for me. If you have to rely on flashback for a short, it's probably not going to be a "short" film.

Sarah,

Comments are killers sometimes.  Read on.

At 30 pages, this is a long short if that's not an oxymoron.  That said, there are some good points.  The constant replacement of characters during the interview works fine.  But it doesn't lead to a resolution, and it certainly doesn't lead to a satisfactory ending.

You have created a pair of psychopaths, and that's fine, but they get away with double murder, and that isn't a nice, neat ending.  In our moral world, they would get their just desserts.  But it's your ending, and it certainly leaves the door open to make this a longer piece.  With some trim, this could be act 1 of a full-length script.

Otherwise, the writing is fine, the characters are OK.  The story is familiar, so there are no problems there.

Best
Richard