Hey Felix, a few thoughts, just my opinion of course.
1) I can't really see anything that shows we're in 50s London, or any real reason it needs setting there? 2) The intro seems too short, not enough set up to her poverty and desperation. 3) Some of the dialogue seems a little OTN and inrealistic, especially for Sarah. 4) The ending seemed a little obvious and not the best way to go... I wonder if you've considered her returning to her captvity as an ending - afterall, it's warm, she has clothes, food etc? Just a thought
But I think there's something here with this one, just needs a little tlc.
Anthony |