SimplyScripts Discussion Board
Blog Home - Produced Movie Script Library - TV Scripts - Unproduced Scripts - Contact - Site Map
ScriptSearch
Welcome, Guest.
It is April 23rd, 2024, 5:35am
Please login or register.
Was Portal Recent Posts Home Help Calendar Search Register Login
Please do read the guidelines that govern behavior on the discussion board. It will make for a much more pleasant experience for everyone. A word about SimplyScripts and Censorship


Produced Script Database (Updated!)

Short Script of the Day | Featured Script of the Month | Featured Short Scripts Available for Production
Submit Your Script

How do I get my film's link and banner here?
All screenplays on the simplyscripts.com and simplyscripts.net domain are copyrighted to their respective authors. All rights reserved. This screenplaymay not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.
Forum Login
Username: Create a new Account
Password:     Forgot Password

SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Short Scripts  ›  The Treasure Moderators: bert
Users Browsing Forum
No Members and 16 Guests

 Pages: 1
Recommend Print
  Author    The Treasure  (currently 1136 views)
Don
Posted: December 20th, 2015, 9:25am Report to Moderator
Administrator
Administrator


So, what are you writing?

Location
Virginia
Posts
16426
Posts Per Day
1.93
The Treasure by George ve Gänæaard - Short, Comedy - When one of his best friends develops an addiction for betting, a student decides to make the best out of it. 9 pages - pdf, format


Visit SimplyScripts.com for what is new on the site.

-------------
You will miss 100% of the shots you don't take.
- Wayne Gretzky
Logged Offline
Site Private Message
TonyDionisio
Posted: December 20th, 2015, 7:40pm Report to Moderator
Been Around


Damnit, get to the point!

Location
Tennessee
Posts
768
Posts Per Day
0.20
Hi George Gaaard(something or other)

You are not telling us character ages upon intro. Use Fade In. All of the descriptions are not in the here and now. You need to correct these little things.

Don't include "next to" in scene slugs.

The good is the dialog. You seem to have a knack for it.


And......

Where da fuck's the end at? You upload the correct version?
Logged Offline
Site Private Message Reply: 1 - 4
Janet
Posted: December 24th, 2015, 11:44am Report to Moderator
New


Posts
1
Posts Per Day
0.00
I liked this very much    I'm trying to figure out the end but I liked it -
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 2 - 4
RichardR
Posted: December 24th, 2015, 3:41pm Report to Moderator
Been Around


Posts
889
Posts Per Day
0.26
George,

A nice little con, but it needs a better ending.  Also, the dialogue needs a scrub. A bit too much voice over for my taste, but that's me. Otherwise, a decent job.

Best
Richard
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 3 - 4
TonyDionisio
Posted: December 24th, 2015, 3:59pm Report to Moderator
Been Around


Damnit, get to the point!

Location
Tennessee
Posts
768
Posts Per Day
0.20
It needs "a" ending, lol.
Logged Offline
Site Private Message Reply: 4 - 4
 Pages: 1
Recommend Print

Locked Board Board Index    Short Scripts  [ previous | next ] Switch to:
Was Portal Recent Posts Home Help Calendar Search Register Login

Forum Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post polls
You may not post attachments
HTML is on
Blah Code is on
Smilies are on


Powered by E-Blah Platinum 9.71B © 2001-2006