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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Short Scripts  ›  Speaking Test - Filmed! Moderators: bert
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  Author    Speaking Test - Filmed!  (currently 4612 views)
Don
Posted: March 3rd, 2016, 9:09pm Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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Speaking Test by Manolis Froudarakis - Short, Comedy - Granted, Safeer's English "not good", but neither is his examiner. 5 pages - pdf, format



Speaking Test from FOOKSTA PRODUCTIONS on Vimeo.



Visit SimplyScripts.com for what is new on the site.

-------------
You will miss 100% of the shots you don't take.
- Wayne Gretzky

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Don  -  September 8th, 2016, 11:18am
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Nolan
Posted: March 4th, 2016, 8:35am Report to Moderator
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Hi Manolis,

I really liked this.  I had a good chuckle reading their conversation.  I don't know what ethnicity Safeer is by his name, but I couldn't help but read his lines in a Russian accent!

Nolan
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RichardR
Posted: March 4th, 2016, 9:44am Report to Moderator
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Manolis,

Some notes.

Nice job.  The examiner discovers that knowing the language isn't all there is to being a P.I.  The dialogue sounded real, and the reactions worked.  

Best
Richard
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cloroxmartini
Posted: March 5th, 2016, 3:59am Report to Moderator
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Nice irony however I see no connection between Safeed being a candidate and Safeed having motive to investigate Colton.
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spesh2k
Posted: March 5th, 2016, 4:34am Report to Moderator
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This was fantastic! Very low budget, easy to film. Just a room and two actors. Nice. Really liked the irony at the end, there. And the writing was competent. Dialogue natural. I pictured Borat a little bit mixed with Balky from that 80s sitcom "Perfect Strangers".

@ Cloroxmartini -- Safeed's motive to investigate Colton was because Colton laughed at him. I do think maybe there should be a shot of Colton stamping a piece of paper with the word DENIED in bold red to really drive it home -- adding injury (denying him his candidacy) to insult (laughing at the poor guy).

-- Michael


THE SUICIDE THEORY (Amazon Prime, 79% Rotten Tomatoes) https://www.imdb.com/title/tt2517300/?ref_=nm_knf_i1
RAGE (Coming Feb. 2021) https://www.imdb.com/title/tt8874764/?ref_=nm_knf_i2


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spesh2k  -  March 5th, 2016, 4:58am
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DustinBowcot
Posted: March 5th, 2016, 4:48am Report to Moderator
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Yep... nice work Manolis. This one should definitely get picked up.
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Athenian
Posted: March 5th, 2016, 7:37am Report to Moderator
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Thanks for the comments, everyone!

- Hi Nolan, glad you liked it! Safeer, as far as I know, is a Pakistani name. I had in mind someone like Peter Sellers in "The Party", but the guy could be from another country, of course.

- Hey, Richard, glad this one worked for you. Thanks for the read and your time!

- Thank you for the read, cloroxmartini! Safeer just wanted to get back at Colton for disrespecting him at the exam.

- Wow, Michael, thanks! I certainly don't mind receiving compliments from writers like you. As for your suggestion, it makes sense, but I don't think the candidates are supposed to see the results before they are officially available.

- Hi Dustin, thanks for your kind words! I also hope some producer reads and likes the script.

Manolis

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Athenian  -  March 5th, 2016, 7:53am
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SAC
Posted: March 5th, 2016, 7:57am Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


… but some dreams do

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Manolis,

Hahaha! Awesome short. Great job on this. Not much else to say -- a home run! Someone make this, please.

Steve


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Athenian
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Quoted from SAC
Manolis,

Hahaha! Awesome short. Great job on this. Not much else to say -- a home run! Someone make this, please.

Steve


Let's hope so, Steve.

Glad you found it funny, thanks for your kind words!

Manolis
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stevemiles
Posted: March 5th, 2016, 1:29pm Report to Moderator
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Love that final action line...

Quick and to the point -- genuinely funny too.  I'd echo others in that you could give Safeer more of a motive in going after Colton.  Unless I missed something he passed the test -- having Colton deny him (cause Colton's a dick) gives you that angle.

Steve


My short scripts can be found here on my new & improved budget website:


http://stevemiles80.wixsite.com/sjmilesscripts
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LC
Posted: March 7th, 2016, 4:20am Report to Moderator
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Manolis, as per usual you have a special talent for this snappy short 'short' comedic routine with a great punchline. Very well done, and enjoyable. Btw, I loved Peter Sellers in The Party and Being There - now I'll read it again and imagine him playing the role.

I'll also just add I think I'd go a more sophisticated route with the logline, but that's just me.

I'd love to see this on screen. Good luck with it.  


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Athenian
Posted: March 9th, 2016, 10:24am Report to Moderator
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- Hi, Steve, thank you for the comment! No, Safeer doesn't pass the test – I tried to make that clearer in the rewrite (see below). But glad you liked the script, overall.

- Thanks for the read and the kind words, Libby! You're right about the logline – too lazy.   I’ll try to come up with a better one. Thanks again!
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Athenian
Posted: March 9th, 2016, 10:26am Report to Moderator
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Here's a bit longer version of the script. I expanded the ending to give Colton the chance to be an even bigger dick to Safeer. Not sure if it works better than the original one, though. Any opinions?

https://www.dropbox.com/s/zf97md70nlo8i0s/speakingtest.pdf?dl=0

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Athenian  -  March 31st, 2016, 8:35pm
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LC
Posted: March 31st, 2016, 7:51pm Report to Moderator
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Manolis, how's it going?

FYI, Link Not Found 404, with your updated dropbox. ?


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Athenian
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Quoted from LC
Manolis, how's it going?

FYI, Link Not Found 404, with your updated dropbox. ?


You're right, Libby, sorry. Here's the correct link (the older version of the script has been deleted):

https://www.dropbox.com/s/zf97md70nlo8i0s/speakingtest.pdf?dl=0

Manolis
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SAC
Posted: March 31st, 2016, 9:11pm Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


… but some dreams do

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Manolis,

Again, very good. Can't say I remember every detail of your original, but the interview seemed a little smoother this time around. Also, did you actually have the wife appear at the end of the last draft? I'd consider adding her -- I think it would add that extra "oomph" that this story may need. A glare from her as she hands Colton the photo? It might work. Your story, though. Either way I still love this.

Steve


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Athenian
Posted: April 2nd, 2016, 2:31am Report to Moderator
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Thanks for re-reading, Steve! I did consider using the wife, but since it would be just for a few seconds I thought it better to keep the script down to two characters. Glad you still liked it, though.

Manolis
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eldave1
Posted: April 2nd, 2016, 10:58am Report to Moderator
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Well done, Squire.

Quick - believable - funny.  

A few moments after finishing I thought it would be interesting if Safeer - rejected by the PD, became a private detective. I could see a feature with him.

Just musing - anyway - really well done


My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
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Athenian
Posted: April 4th, 2016, 8:15am Report to Moderator
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Glad you liked it, David! I currently have a few other ideas for features, but in the future... who knows?

Thank you for the read!

Manolis
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khamanna
Posted: April 4th, 2016, 10:12am Report to Moderator
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Hey, Magnolis, that was a lot of fun.
First of, he sounded quite funny and reminds me of many many people I know. Many many many many.

And the ending is very satisfactory and laughing out loud funny. Great job!
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alffy
Posted: April 4th, 2016, 2:39pm Report to Moderator
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Hey Manolis

I thought, like many, this was very funny.  It's a great little story with a perfect pay off.


Check out my scripts...if you want to, no pressure.

You can find my scripts here
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Athenian
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Thanks, Khamanna, glad you enjoyed it! Yes, many non-native speakers do sound like Safeer. I don't exactly sound like an Oxford graduate myself.

Hi, alffy, glad you liked the story and the pay off. Thank you for the read!

Manolis
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Athenian
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This one has been produced by Melbourne-based director Fook Ngo. Here's the trailer, for now:


trailer from FOOKSTA PRODUCTIONS on Vimeo.


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Warren
Posted: July 31st, 2016, 6:08pm Report to Moderator
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Congrats.


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AnthonyCawood
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Congrats, when will the full version be available?


Anthony Cawood - Award winning screenwriter
Available Short screenplays - http://www.anthonycawood.co.uk/short-scripts
Available Feature screenplays - http://www.anthonycawood.co.uk/feature-film-scripts/
Screenwriting articles - http://www.anthonycawood.co.uk/articles
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Grandma Bear
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Awesome! I actually read that one and thought it was great! Congrats!!!  


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Athenian
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- Warren, thank you!

- Thanks, Anthony! The director has entered the film in some festivals, so it will be available in a few months.

- Thank you, Pia! Glad you enjoyed the script.

BTW, there's also going to be an Indian version (in a month or so) with Pankaj Tripathi, a well-known actor in his country.

http://www.filmfareme.com/shiladitya-bora-turns-director-with-wife-not-wife/
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DustinBowcot
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Quoted from Athenian
This one has been produced by Melbourne-based director Fook Ngo.


Fook 'n' Go.

Great ice breaker.

Well done Manolis. Hopefully it does well at the festivals.
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MarkRenshaw
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Congratulations and best of luck at the festivals. Superb name for the director lol!


For more of my scripts, stories, produced movies and the ocassional blog, check out my new website. CLICK
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irish eyes
Posted: August 1st, 2016, 9:47pm Report to Moderator
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Congrats !!! All the best with the festivals


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Athenian
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Dustin, Mark and Mark (irish eyes), thank you all!

The director's name is Vietnamese. Actually, he wanted to film this script partly because of his own experiences as an "ethnic" Australian.

Manolis
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Athenian
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The film is now online. Hope you like it.


Speaking Test from FOOKSTA PRODUCTIONS on Vimeo.

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LC
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Love it! Brilliant.

Did they recut this, Manolis?

Made me giggle throughout.  

You must get Don to post this on the 'link to my film' section, see top right-hand side on home page.

You should be be very proud of this one. Casting is great. They did a bang up job of it.


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Warren
Posted: September 8th, 2016, 3:35am Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


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Well done.

Much better ending.


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Athenian
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Quoted from LC
Love it! Brilliant.

Did they recut this, Manolis?

Made me giggle throughout.  

You must get Don to post this on the 'link to my film' section, see top right-hand side on home page.

You should be be very proud of this one. Casting is great. They did a bang up job of it.


Thanks, Libby, glad you liked it! I asked the director to change a couple of things (the misspelled word too) and he did so. It was a good collaboration.

I've already sent Don a message, thanks. (BTW, I've read "Mollycoddled", but I'll comment on it in a couple of days. Busy week. )
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Athenian
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Quoted from Warren
Well done.

Much better ending.


Thanks, Warren!
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SAC
Posted: September 8th, 2016, 6:17am Report to Moderator
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Manolis,

Awesome! Congrats on getting this made. Funny and fun little film. (Still like your script better though!)

Steve


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BenL
Posted: September 8th, 2016, 7:02am Report to Moderator
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Congrats, but I must admit I liked the script better than the film. Especially the ending with the picture could have been done much better...
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eldave1
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This was really well done- congrats


My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
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RichardR
Posted: September 8th, 2016, 11:40am Report to Moderator
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Congrats.

Richard
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AnthonyCawood
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Congrats


Anthony Cawood - Award winning screenwriter
Available Short screenplays - http://www.anthonycawood.co.uk/short-scripts
Available Feature screenplays - http://www.anthonycawood.co.uk/feature-film-scripts/
Screenwriting articles - http://www.anthonycawood.co.uk/articles
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Fausto
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Excellent job Manolis! Funny and at the same time deep...as an old philosopher said "the brain has no accent"
My best,
Fausto
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Athenian
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Steve, Ben, Dave, Richard, Anthony and Fausto,

Thanks for watching and commenting!

Manolis

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