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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Short Scripts  ›  Man's Best Friend Moderators: bert
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SAC
Posted: March 10th, 2016, 3:25pm Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


… but some dreams do

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Richard,

Thanks for the read.

When writing this I never gave much thought to the gun. I just wrote CLICK CLICK CLICK and that was it. I figured the audience would think that Curt left the safety on or something. If I had made Kenny a bad shot I thought that might conjure up images of Pulp Fiction, and I knew if the dog had gone for his arm, well, you're talking stunt people, more money and a trained dog. Didn't wanna do that either.

Steve


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SAC
Posted: March 10th, 2016, 10:17pm Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


… but some dreams do

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Upstate NY
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Ren,

Thanks for the read and comments.

It's funny that you mention Col Kurtz. In the past, me and the good Col have exchanged scripts via email and I've always enjoyed his work. And similarity in style is coincidental, I think. Perhaps subconsciously, but I don't think so. But to say my writing reminds you of his is high praise. Thanks.

A skull cap is like a ski cap, but more form fitting of the head.

The insurance documents was an add on. The way it's written is an on the spot discovery, so he couldn't have told her to get them. My only regret is I didn't have two champagne glasses and a belittle nearby so she could share her new found wealth with the scumbag Lance.

Steve


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rendevous
Posted: March 11th, 2016, 9:32am Report to Moderator
Old Timer


Away

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Oh, I get you now. Like Ali G was at the Oscars. Sadly I can't think of a better reference. I should probably get out more, but I'm not sure in this case it would help. The guys wearing them are not too talkative.

The documents bit was the only bit of this I didn't buy. I think if you changed that, not necessarily my way but another, I think it'd be up there. Apart from that bit I really liked it.

R




Out Of Character - updated


New Used Car

Green

Right Back

The Deuce - OWC - now on STS

Other scripts here
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SAC
Posted: March 14th, 2016, 12:59pm Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


… but some dreams do

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Cindy,

Thanks for reading.

Yeah, I'm aware $10,000 means dollars dollars. I actually thought about that but left it in. Didn't feel it was too big an issue.

And when he hangs up the phone I did have Curt say where he was calling, but in the interest of keeping the dialogue concise and to the point, I dropped it. I figured peeps would catch on seeing as the very next scene has him arriving at the bad guys house.

Otherwise, glad you liked it, Cindy.

Steve


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irish eyes
Posted: March 14th, 2016, 8:50pm Report to Moderator
January Project Group


There`s too much blood in my alcohol

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Ahh Mr. Clark

Not even past the first Slug and there's a "WE" in all it's glory... tsk tsk tsk are you even trying?
Is English even your first language?

At his point I would stop reading but I just want to make sure you took that ridiculous "Fart" scene out. NOOOOOOOOO it's still there in all it's glory. This a short drama no need for a one off comedy line... just my 2 cents

A great read as usual,  great visuals
Nice Work bro



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LC
Posted: March 14th, 2016, 9:32pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from irish eyes
...Not even past the first Slug and there's a "WE" in all it's glory... tsk tsk tsk are you even trying?

Very funny, Irish.


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DustinBowcot
Posted: March 15th, 2016, 6:19am Report to Moderator
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I read this a few days ago and enjoyed it as a linear revenge thriller. Have you written this type of story before? Where the husband has a cheating wife and he gets revenge on her. There's usually a dog involved somewhere too. Seems I've read similar stories to this quite a few times.

Anyway, a good story, may have some trouble finding a producer because of the animal aspect. Good luck with it.
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SAC
Posted: March 15th, 2016, 8:28am Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


… but some dreams do

Location
Upstate NY
Posts
3201
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Quoted from irish eyes
Ahh Mr. Clark

Not even past the first Slug and there's a "WE" in all it's glory... tsk tsk tsk are you even trying?
Is English even your first language?


<----- Um, Mods... Nod, nod. Wink, wink.



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SAC
Posted: March 16th, 2016, 2:28pm Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


… but some dreams do

Location
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Dustin,

Thanks for reading. No, I've never written a story like this. Actually, my first stab at a thriller. Glad you thought it worked. The last couple things I've written, this and Lady Eva, were done mostly without budget in mind. I just wanted to write it the way I wanted to. That said, I don't think budget on this would be crazy as you wouldn't need a trained dog. The dog killing the guy is implied, and when the dog eats a piece of Lance's brain could easily be done with a piece of steak!    Still, had a bit of fun writing this.

Steve


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