LOL. So cute. I feel a bit cheated thought - the logline promised something that never materialised.
Also, I can't imagine how the beginning would be filmed. A cop should kinda lean into the window of a car to get some eye contact, but with a little girl in a little car he would need to squat or look downwards...

Hey, Nolan.

Well written for the most part and seemed to be the start of something good. It didn't strike me as a complete story.

A couple of nit typos:

Quoted Text EMILY Okay daddy.

comma after okay

Quoted Text JOHN I love you baby girl.

comma after you

Quoted Text EMILY I love you too daddy.

comma after too

Marcela and Dave,

Thanks for the comments.  I seem to have an issue with commas!  Something I have to work at for sure.  

I'm currently rewriting this.  I still like the idea of the twist with Emily, and will probably keep that the way it is.  I'm playing with some other stuff.  I'll submit it within the next week or so and see what kind of response I get from it.

Thanks,

Nolan

Well, the thing is, with commas, you have to, most times, use them for grammar, of course, and not (in my opinion) confuse them with parenthesis, or, as the case may be, with hyphens - which I had to google the proper use of - and then semicolons; I never get the hang of those.

Everyone has brought up things that I would have commented on already except the use of "is" and "ing".
Read through the script and rewrite the sentences with those words omitted.
Show, don't tell.

There isn't anything wrong with 'ing' words, particularly. I think it's wrong to tell people this as it's an over simplification.

It's not all words... but verbs. 'ing' verbs are not as active as ordinary verbs, although are still active voice. They are fine to use, just be aware of them when you do. If it disrupts flow or your writing looks clunky as a result of not using them, then use them.

The same goes for 'is' and 'are'. Just be aware of them and try to write as actively as you can. Most of the time they will be unnecessary. However, there are times when it's fine to use them too.