The Wrong Side of the Bed by Artell Cowell - Short, Comedy - A fun-loving father is pushed to his limit when he inadvertently attracts mayhem on a busy highway. 9 pages - pdf, format

A few issues with this.

A lot of it is awkwardly written.

Formatting is off. Use V.O. for phone conversations not O.S. O.S. implies the person in still in the scene just not on the screen.

You have a Skoda, red Nissan and Mini Cooper. No need to say what kind of cars they are unless they are vital to your story.

I didn’t understand the purpose of the opening transitions scene and the closing quick flashes scene.

I personally don’t think there is ever a good reason to put dialogue in all caps.

This line is very cringe worthy, "never judge a book by its cover".

Dialogue is on the nose.

I realised that I had'nt read what genre it was before I started reading. I would never have guessed it was a comedy.

Needs some work.

Artell,

Some notes.

I didn't get the opening at all.  Why are we treated to such a scene?

I get that the guy is late, but what he tries to do is beyond stupid.  That's me.  As noted, the dialogue is on the nose and not all that funny.  And everything is pretty cliche.  Brushing teeth, coffee, phone, they've all be done.  can you think of something new?  Same with thugs.  In any case, the writing needs a scrub and the story needs something new.

Best
Richard

Artell, you need to tighten up the story, make it more comedic when introducing the thug....and later when he reappears. The wife's behavior is not enough to create a comedy. A little work is necessary.
Overall, a good script in my opinion. V.O. in place of O.S. is more suitable.
My best,
Fausto