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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Short Scripts  ›  Boots On The Ground Moderators: bert
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Don
Posted: July 14th, 2016, 6:14pm Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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Boots On The Ground by Stuart Palace - Short - A couple of kicks end in a million deaths. - pdf, format


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Warren
Posted: July 14th, 2016, 7:36pm Report to Moderator
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I liked the symbolism of this. It feels even more relevant on a day like today.

Not sure what an Arab’s shins and feet look like?

Don’t think it would be visually entertaining, but I liked it for what it was.


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StuartP
Posted: July 30th, 2016, 1:28am Report to Moderator
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Thank you for your thoughts, Warren.
Appreciated.
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AnthonyCawood
Posted: July 30th, 2016, 1:36pm Report to Moderator
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Stuart

As per Warren's comments, I liked the symbolism on this BUT not sure as written that it would be clear what race the children would be. Maybe it need something to set it up a little.

Anthony


Anthony Cawood - Award winning screenwriter
Available Short screenplays - http://www.anthonycawood.co.uk/short-scripts
Available Feature screenplays - http://www.anthonycawood.co.uk/feature-film-scripts/
Screenwriting articles - http://www.anthonycawood.co.uk/articles
IMDB Link - http://www.imdb.com/name/nm6495672/?ref_=fn_al_nm_1
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DustinBowcot
Posted: July 30th, 2016, 2:38pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Warren


Not sure what an Arab’s shins and feet look like?



Brown and hairy if the Arabs at my school were anything to go by.
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eldave1
Posted: July 30th, 2016, 4:45pm Report to Moderator
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Poignant - you got a ton out of a single page. Love the title - the logline needs a little work.

Enjoyed this


My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
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Reef Dreamer
Posted: July 30th, 2016, 5:53pm Report to Moderator
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More of a message than a story, but it has something, and delivers it in one page.

Kind of like that, in a sad way.

Well done


My scripts  HERE

The Elevator Most Belonging To Alice - Semi Final Bluecat, Runner Up Nashville
Inner Journey - Page Awards Finalist - Bluecat semi final
Grieving Spell - winner - London Film Awards.  Third - Honolulu
Ultimate Weapon - Fresh Voices - second place
IMDb link... http://www.imdb.com/name/nm7062725/?ref_=tt_ov_wr
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Wes
Posted: July 31st, 2016, 1:24pm Report to Moderator
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I get the message. It over-simplifies things for me a bit too much but over all, it works.


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