Quoted from DustinBowcot That looks like an excellent painting. I've always wanted to be arty and have the walls of my home covered in my own work. Whenever I try though it always ends up looking like a 3-year-old has had a go. Very frustrating. I know what I want - I can see it clear as day in my mind - but cannot produce it. You've got talent. I hope it brings good things for you.

Thank you.

Quoted from SimonM I'll probably get my head bit off, but... Alex, you may be interested in this - "The Southampton Review" Literary Journal is currently open to submissions, until October 15th. Of particular relevance may be the following: "Writers on Writing" The only stipulation for this category as that the theme/plot/metaphor/etc. of the submission must be about writing. The process of writing, the feeling of writing, the characters or writing. It's broad and open to your interpretation. This is not a contest, rather we've created a specific category for poetry, fiction, nonfiction/memoir/personal essay, plays, screenplays, cartoons, art, and photography, that has to do with some aspect of writing or being a writer. There is a $3 reading fee. Submissions are via Submittable - the link to their submissions guidelines page is http://thesouthamptonreview.com/submit/

Don't worry about me. Sometimes it gets a pulp and stuff move in an ugly direction. I wouldn't call myself the exact definition of innocence whenever I'm involved It's right, it wasn't all fine between us, although I'd prefer frankly speaking over any kind of perfect fake community.

In the end, here and now, you definitely showed some balls to selflessly provide me that information under those preconditions. That honors you. And the link was definitely fun to look into. I'd never have thought there's a definite interest in material dealing with the theme and I'm even exactly within the deadline. Actually I never wanted to pay a cent for anything concerning my projects but this kind of circumstances is worth it 100%.

Feels like a crazy coincidence to me at first, on the other side, I recognize I wouldn't ever have heard of it if you hadn't taken the time to post. Thank you

Quoted from PrussianMosby Don't worry about me. Sometimes it gets a pulp and stuff move in an ugly direction. I wouldn't call myself the exact definition of innocence whenever I'm involved It's right, it wasn't all fine between us, although I'd prefer frankly speaking over any kind of perfect fake community. In the end, here and now, you definitely showed some balls to send me that information under those preconditions. That honors you. And the link was definitely fun to look into. I'd never have thought there's a definite interest in material dealing with the theme and I'm even exactly within the deadline. Actually I never wanted to pay a cent for anything concerning my projects but this kind of circumstances is worth it 100%. Feels like a crazy coincidence to me at first, on the other side, I recognize I wouldn't ever have heard of it if you hadn't taken the time to post. Thank you

Happy to be of help, one writer to another. Good luck with it.

Thank you for the read as well, Steve D,

I answered a lot toward some "equal" opinion.

So since I stay home tonight I just wrote the extensive summary and it will be horrible.

In WoP the emotional pictures built are that slow and numerous that it only felt organic to me to write from another angle than showing the whole esthetic in single concepted images. In a sense, I left some stuff to your imagination when saying f.i. "everywhere a thing could be laid on, it lies - papers full of letters".  While some might think that is wrong and overwritten, the version of single flowing pictures I imagine here would make you scream.

Before that line, I showed the covered floor, the sofa and after it, I showed the desk.

Regarding the papers, I structured the loft in specific sections: ikea table at sofa, flooring, desk
And second, indirect described for sure: the whole other apartment.

The amount of paper lying in the loft is really huge. Huge like everywhere everywhere they lie. And I want nothing else than that. An immense WoP, a slow impression all over the screen. Only Writer in it.

To fulfill that, there were three options:

1- show every single item and furniture and what kind of sheet of paper is lying upon there since they are partly each and all in focus 100%. For sure there would be a way to flow from one paper to another index card, then a close on on a scribbling, of course hidden in a nice active sentence. Then the next picture. All technically correct...

2- write a single universal line like: Everywhere lie sheets of paper. Period. (I mean, why not, since it's the truth, right?) So, go on with the next part of the story…

3-my way. Mix the clear lines up with throwing some prose at you until you realize it is a hell of a World of Paper. Spray a vague, indirect, and definitely extensive imagination of it in, to eventually let you make it as extreme as you want. BUT BOLD AND POLARIZING at least.

My choice is not perfect because it has no flowing pictures as usual, I admit that. No 1 and 2 don't convince me story-wise. They don't carry the meaning. They don't build meaning, they are dead. Perhaps active written but dead in case of story. Too numerous pictures would kill it imo. You'd puke at me if I'd "show" you all the pictures I see myself in this scene. On the page it'd be no good story. Cold.

Story or writing? My choice was clear.


Somehow I wrote a coherent piece, so there are other shots, staring at the moon f.i., that are equally slow and intimate if it's the right word in English.

Again three opinions:

1- show a moon crater, his glassy eyes,  BACK to moon crater, glassy eyes, etc.
There may be a way…

2- write a universal line: He looks at the full moon.

3- my way: throw some prose at you that illustrates the cliché of a man staring at the moon, how majestically it looks. Him already looking in that direction for the whole time, what we notice later, also broadens the image and lets us build a connection to somebody who obviously has some relaxation and fascination for the full moon in that moment; and shares it with us. And because we are humans, we imo could possibly indeed feel with him and think "well the moon is great, that's a fine experience to be remembered of".

The problem in this image is that nothing happens other than him staring, but that's not nothing, it's rather all, calm you know, and the director may give us his version of making the moon great again, by a man, as described, indeed. Sure could I have worked with close ons, hidden in active lines and so on, like in point one. It just doesn't fit.


Not to forget, in some parts of the script I've broken it up with direct, quick pictures, as the whole montage is. He writes, reads and so on. There I go completely different to relax it. Even after the moon scene, he just takes a piss. And I can't remember having made that image any prosy.  

I recognize those decisions are highly attackable and I take it. As I said before, the script wouldn't exist in another version.

So, this was the extreme debate about the writing topic. I'm sure I can't convince those who reject the way of execution. The alternative wasn't given to me. To show those slow pictures in 100% screenplay format isn't working. And IMO those who didn't like it yet would have hated it even more, me writing beat, beat, beat and showing each picture. It does not work on the page because it burns the story.

For what: For fun

Thanks to all anyway and have a nice WE. It's great to get so many opinions.

Got a last word on the papers, toward those who think it's overwritten: Don't forget I left out the walls

I was a bit confused by the ending but interesting take. I could see this playing with a "sad piano" soundtrack.

I'm going to email you some notes I scribbled as I read.