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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Short Scripts  ›  Formula Moderators: bert
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Don
Posted: September 17th, 2016, 5:26pm Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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Formula by Stephan Reader - Short, Comedy, Exploitation Movie, Erotic, Sci-Fi, Crime - An unemployed porn addict, his money grubbing tenant in over his head in debt, and a drug dealer with a special formula which makes the erotic and strange collide are entangled in a dangerous money making scheme. 56 pages - pdf, format


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RichardR
Posted: September 18th, 2016, 10:02am Report to Moderator
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Stephan,

Some notes.

I got to page 15 before I called it a day.  The formatting is non-standard.  There are multiple errors in English and typing.  The dialogue is direct and wordy.  The characters are boiler plate.  The story, while it might go some place, doesn't work for me.  But that's me.  

I suggest you find some decent script writing software and read a bunch of good scripts.  

Best
Richard
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