Blood Money by Lavingston Humes - Short, Action, Adventure - 100 grand missing and their boss gone, two men use less than legal methods to get their answers. 8 pages - pdf, format

Writer interested in feedback on this work

Good evening,

Thank you for sharing your story.
The formatting was well done.
The action lines were concise. However, the dialogue seemed rather robotic. I'm not sure if these were typos, or you wanted the characters to have unique way of talking. For example: "It goes violates my diet." I was under the impression you kept changing the lines and didn't read the dialogue all the way through.
The burger theme reminded me of Pulp Fiction. Too familiar.
The whole story resembled rather a scene from bigger picture.

I hope my notes help.