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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Short Action / Adventure Scripts  ›  Game Hunter
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  Author    Game Hunter  (currently 1057 views)
Don
Posted: January 2nd, 2018, 3:29pm Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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Game Hunter by KJ - Short, Action - On-grounds hunting. Collect/post Bounties. Join Public Events. Team up. But always keep an extra concealed firearm on hand. 14 pages - pdf, format

New writer interested in feedback on this work


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Marty
Posted: January 3rd, 2018, 11:23am Report to Moderator
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KJ,

EXT. A HUNDRED YARDS AWAY - CONT’D
-I don't think that should be written as a slugline.
A HUNDRED YARDS AWAY
-You've already established being outside so I'd write it as action instead.

I'd remove continued from the bottom of each page.
Eliminate CU for close up and write it instead of directing it.
His boots land in the mud.
-I think we all can visualize without telling us close up.

Was CONT’D... used as a replacement for Beat or A Beat? If so, I've never seen that one before.

Keep writing and best of luck!

All the best,
Marty
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