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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Short Comedy Scripts  ›  Satan Versus The Gongfarmer
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  Author    Satan Versus The Gongfarmer  (currently 512 views)
Don
Posted: August 21st, 2018, 1:08pm Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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Satan Versus The Gongfarmer by Doug Tesch - Short, Comedy - "The Exorcist" meets "Dirty Jobs". 8 pages - pdf format

Writer interested in feedback on this work



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Zombie Sean
Posted: August 22nd, 2018, 2:43pm Report to Moderator
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I read this because the logline alone was interesting. I totally imagined Mike Rowe coming to do a dirty job of exorcising a demon out of someone...but not a toilet?!

This was...interesting the say the least. I will admit, it made me laugh. I'm a sucker for potty humor...pun intended.

It got pretty outrageous at some points, but then again, exorcising a possessed toilet is ridiculous within itself. If Scary Movie 2 didn't already do a parody of The Exorcist, I could totally see this as being the opening for a Scary Movie movie.

I honestly don't really know what to say about this. I can tell you had a lot of fun with the idea, and writing the script. I had a lot of fun reading it at least. I'm not gonna take this one too seriously, if at all.

Sean
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DustinBowcot
Posted: August 24th, 2018, 2:28am Report to Moderator
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I liked it better when it was just the toilet. Satan turning up and all those special effects kill this story. It moved from a possessed toilet to an actual exorcism. I liked the first half, the second half would make me switch off.
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Matthew Taylor
Posted: October 18th, 2018, 5:23am Report to Moderator
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This was... different lol

To be honest, I actually enjoyed it. It's a no thrills bit of fun. It was easy to read and follow and I could easily imagine what was going on.

Agree with the above post about the second half. It seemed to get slightly more serious (Satan turning up, walls bleeding) - I think it should have carried on with the ridiculous

For example, instead of a physical form of Satan showing up, could he posses to toilet roll which then forms the shape of Satan (Kind of like a toilet Satan mummy)

I like the image of the gongfarmer lying knocked out in a bathtub outside, but didn't really like the end. The dog bites his ass and suddenly hes gone?
would have preferred it, if say, the dog grabs the plunger and rams it up Satans ass - (There's a sentence I never thought I'd write)

Anyway, thanks, I enjoyed the read


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