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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Short Comedy Scripts  ›  Split
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  Author    Split  (currently 135 views)
Posted: November 2nd, 2018, 3:52pm Report to Moderator

So, what are you writing?

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Split by Marco Bermudez - Short, Comedy - Parents sit their kids down for the talk that no kid really wants to hear. 3 pages - pdf format

Writer interested in feedback on this work

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Posted: November 2nd, 2018, 6:11pm Report to Moderator
Been around a while

London, UK
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I thought it was well written and the parents and children were characterized well. It's a real skill to be able to tell a complete story in 3 pages.
The ending was a bit soft for me.
You're very specific on the age of the parents, why not mid or early 40s?

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- how will we get to school  - ?

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Matthew Taylor
Posted: November 5th, 2018, 4:52am Report to Moderator
Been around a while

Shakespeare's county
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I will agree with the above.

Good distinct characters, set up for a good comic situation that I thought was taking me somewhere... but then it didn't - felt unsatisfied with the ending


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