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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Short Comedy Scripts  ›  Sugars
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  Author    Sugars  (currently 166 views)
Posted: February 10th, 2019, 10:23am Report to Moderator

So, what are you writing?

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Sugars by Rob Herzog - Short, Comedy - Things get wild when a substitute teacher brings sugar into the classroom. 7 pages - pdf format

Writer interested in feedback on this work

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Posted: June 8th, 2019, 9:20pm Report to Moderator

Las Vegas, Nevada
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This was written well. It doesn't make much sense but who cares? Kind of has a Willy Wonka vibe to it. Was expecting some kind of tie-up at the end, but there wasn't one. Again, no big deal. Glad there were no zombies. Jeez, enough of that!
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Posted: August 19th, 2019, 9:30am Report to Moderator
Been around a while

Sunny Coast. Qld. Australia
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That was a fun read. Well written and very well paced actions.

But I'm left a bit deflated with the ending, I was hoping for a twist or some change in the kid's behaviour or viewpoint. But essentially the naughty boys stayed naughty, the sensitive kid stayed sensitive.

Unless I'm missing something, which is entirely possible

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