SimplyScripts Discussion Board
Blog Home - Produced Movie Script Library - TV Scripts - Unproduced Scripts - Contact - Site Map
ScriptSearch
Welcome, Guest.
It is March 28th, 2024, 3:02pm
Please login or register.
Was Portal Recent Posts Home Help Calendar Search Register Login
Please do read the guidelines that govern behavior on the discussion board. It will make for a much more pleasant experience for everyone. A word about SimplyScripts and Censorship


Produced Script Database (Updated!)
One Week Challenge - Who Wrote What and Writers' Choice.


Scripts studios are posting for award consideration

Short Script of the Day | Featured Script of the Month | Featured Short Scripts Available for Production
Submit Your Script

How do I get my film's link and banner here?
All screenplays on the simplyscripts.com and simplyscripts.net domain are copyrighted to their respective authors. All rights reserved. This screenplaymay not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.
Forum Login
Username: Create a new Account
Password:     Forgot Password

SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Short Comedy Scripts  ›  Charity Shop
Users Browsing Forum
No Members and 2 Guests

 Pages: 1
Recommend Print
  Author    Charity Shop  (currently 345 views)
Don
Posted: September 30th, 2019, 1:15pm Report to Moderator
Administrator
Administrator


So, what are you writing?

Location
Virginia
Posts
16381
Posts Per Day
1.94
Charity Shop by Sebastian Gran - Short, Comedy - A bored charity shop employee is constantly exacerbated by an incredibly sheltered work experience kid. 18 pages - pdf format

Writer interested in feedback on this work



Visit SimplyScripts.com for what is new on the site.

-------------
You will miss 100% of the shots you don't take.
- Wayne Gretzky
Logged Offline
Site Private Message
ghost and_ghostie gal
Posted: September 30th, 2019, 8:44pm Report to Moderator
Old Timer



Location
A helluva long way from LA
Posts
1565
Posts Per Day
0.29
@Sebastian

First of all, Comedy is tough - We struggle with it constantly.  I suppose there is a certain sensibility you're going for.  It's not slapstick.   Not sarcastic.  Not dark.  Nor sophomoric.  What else is there???  In any case, I can't seem to find your comedic tone.  

Hmm... Allow me to rephrase... A mime being flattened by a 18-wheeler and miming his injuries to paramedics.  Comic gold.  Maybe other's notions of funny aren't as grandiose as mine.   Maybe yours is... and just missed the mark with me.

Gotta backtrack to mention,  only read about eight pages.  That said, since most comedies are not terribly plot-driven, methinks the lead character has to do a lot of heavy lifting and this is connected to his/her arc.   In this case, Gale seems to be doing that.  If that helps ya.  

Luv your character descriptions.

This is just my observation.  JMHO.  Anyway, best of luck.  -Andrea


Logged
Private Message Reply: 1 - 1
 Pages: 1
Recommend Print

Locked Board Board Index    Short Comedy Scripts  [ previous | next ] Switch to:
Was Portal Recent Posts Home Help Calendar Search Register Login

Forum Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post polls
You may not post attachments
HTML is on
Blah Code is on
Smilies are on


Powered by E-Blah Platinum 9.71B © 2001-2006