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Your Face is Killing Me by Jason K. Allen - Short, Comedy, Romantic Comedy - A shallow young man decides to break up with his beautiful, kindhearted girlfriend because of her occasional unattractive facial expression. 4 pages - pdf format
For production consideration - No comments required
I really liked this -- drew comparisons to Seinfeld stuff -- the "Man Hands" episode and the episode where Jerry's date interest looks attractive only w/ the right lighting. Also, "Shallow Hal" with Jason Alexander's character focusing on his ridiculously hot girlfriend's weird toe.
Now, at first I thought this was a bit superficial -- your male lead is very superficial. But it felt a little misogynistic. Though, when everything came around with your lead, I was satisfied. He got what he deserved and was (SPOILER ALERT) dumped for the same exact reason he was thinking about dumping his girlfriend.
I do think the dialogue could've been more creative and naturalistic, specifically at the beginning between the two dudes. As is, the dialogue is just pretty much only there to push narrative. I think you can get some better laughs with some solid one-liners/jokes en route to the punchline.
This one says Jason doesn't require comments - For Production Consideration only.
I think Zack was going to email Jason with regard to the same issue i.e., becoming active on the boards etc.
I saw another of Jason's scripts where it said he welcomed comments so Michael, I'll leave your comments up for a while until otherwise clarified by Don, or Jason himself.
Yeah, I saw another one of his scripts up, said it was open for feedback. Guess I just saw the author's name and assumed they wanted feedback for this one, too.