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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Short Comedy Scripts  ›  Madam Izabella
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  Author    Madam Izabella  (currently 305 views)
Don
Posted: August 6th, 2020, 8:21am Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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Madam Izabella by Jason K. Allen - Short, Comedy - A man visits a psychic seeking knowledge about his love life and his favorite fishing hole. But it's Madam Izabella's first ever customer, and things don't go quite as planned. 10 pages - pdf format

For production consideration - No comments required


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BarryJohn
Posted: August 8th, 2020, 2:57am Report to Moderator
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Who am I? A man with a hundred stories..

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I fond the story hard to follow "grasp" at the end...

- Your log line says; A man visits a psychic seeking knowledge ~ So I'm with that he is a client. But, at the end he seems to be the owner / boss?

- Was he interviewing Madam Izabella - was she that good to "change" Tommy too...

Also... I found the story to be "corny" in:
- fishing out fried chicken
- Batman fishing
- Your tiny pee pee

- CAULDRON... spiting, earwax, gigantic bellybutton lint... To then drink it! Auuugh...
  


Who am I? A man with a hundred stories... you want to read one?
Analyst, mentor, competition reader/judge, film critic, magazine article/blogger.  
https://simpsonliteraryagency.com/script-analyst
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