Ghost by Samuel Capper - Short, Comedy - The washing up needs doing, but there's a ghost in the kitchen. Or is there? 3 pages - pdf format

Writer interested in feedback on this work

Haha!   This appeals to my sense of humour. Very droll and understated. Very much like Brit or Aussie comedy - silly and a bit whacky, weaving the humour around domestic situations. Very reminiscent of David Mitchell and Robert Webb in Peep Show.

Samuel, I'm guessing you're new to script formatting cause you have a few rookie errors on display re formatting and punctuation.

A few tips:

You need to put the scene header after the FADE IN to the action, e.g.,
You have this:

INT. CORRIDOR. DAY.

FADE IN:

The sound of a smashing plate can be heard. GARY is slowly
shutting a door as SAL walks by.

Suggestion:

OVER BLACK

The sound of a smashing plate.

FADE IN:

INT. GARY & SAL'S HOUSE  - NIGHT (might be spookier setting it at night?)

GARY, 20s, (give us his age and some description of Gary) gingerly shuts the door to the kitchen, bumps into SAL, 20s (same here, give us the age and physical description of Sal.

SAL
Riight. (beat) Look Gary, I'm pretty
sure there isn't any ghost.

This should be formatted:

    SAL
Right.
   (beat)
Look, Gary - I'm pretty
sure there isn't any ghost.

The parenthetical goes under the dialogue (see it on a drop down list in your software.
Instead of using the parenthetical however, how about to create more character have Sal make a goofy face or give Gary a dubious look.

SAL moves GARY out of the way despite his efforts.
Use verbs that are impactful.
Sal (no need to capitalise after the first intro of the character) shoves Gary out of the way, perhaps?

GARY
No don't..

GARY
No, don't...

Ellipses comprise three periods.
And offset the personal address with a comma.

SAL
Okay so where is it?

SAL
Okay, so where is it?

Same here (above) offset with a comma when addressing the character.

GARY
Oh okay, um, well listen.. oooooh.

Reminder: Ellipses - three periods (dots)
Perhaps: (Gary enacts a spooky ghostly sound under his breath) Who-ooo

prove its not real, Typo
it's not real (contraction of it is.

GARY
Well what about your bike?

Insert comma.
Well, what about your bike?

SAL
Yes it is I can obviously see it.

Suggestion:
Yes, it is. I can obviously see it.
Suggestion: Look. Your bike's disappeared/gone.

(cont.) Your continued's are not formatted correctly. This should be: (CONT'D) But...
Delete them in software.
They're only really necessary where dialogue continues over the page.

SAL
Do the washing up Gary.

SAL
Do the washing up, Gary.


TITLE: GHOST
CUT TO:
The ghost appears and smashes a mug.
GARY
I bloody told you!
CREDITS.

That's creative (above) but would be an Insert Title:
"GHOST"

Then perhaps, SMASH CUT (although some would advise not)
Then, (what do we see of the Ghost exactly?)

I'd FADE OUT, then FADE UP again, and maybe just show mugs and plates flying off shelves, or even just one mug?

Finish on:

GARY
I bloody told you!

And a dumfounded look, or look of horror on SAL'S face perhaps?

Then:

FINAL FADE OUT.


Anyway, works for me.
Loved it!