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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board  ›  Unproduced Screenplay Discussion  ›  Short Comedy Scripts  ›  Jasper + Mimi Forever
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  Author    Jasper + Mimi Forever  (currently 306 views)
Don
Posted: August 20th, 2022, 2:45pm Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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Jasper + Mimi Forever by Jason Allen - Short, Comedy, Romance - Two freakish outcasts - a bearded woman and a man who has a carrot for a penis - are madly in love and want to have a baby. 6 pages - pdf format

Writer interested in feedback on this work


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Nomad
Posted: August 23rd, 2022, 12:24pm Report to Moderator
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Comedy is so difficult to write since it's the most subjective genre.

This unfortunately fell flat.

Strange premise, weird dialogue, meh jokes instead of a good setup and payoff...

I applaud your effort writing comedy, but this didn't work for me.

-Jordan


Read my scripts here:
SOCIAL EXPERIMENT 8pg-Drama
THE BRIDGE 8pg-Horror
SCHEISSE 6pg-Horror/Comedy
MADE FOR EACH OTHER-FILMED
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