Heads or Tails by Frank B Hansen - Short, Comedy - Don't underestimate the intelligence of your sweet younger sister. 2 pages - pdf format

Writer interested in feedback on this work

Thanks for posting, Don.

Hi there,

Sadly, I couldn't get my head around this one. I simply didn't get whatever was meant to be playing out here.

I didn't understand how chips could land heads or tails (regardless of whether crips or fries), it was just bizarre to me.

Didn't see the connection with the logline either - Did Zoe outsmart her brother?

Of course, this was just my perception - would be interested to know want was intended here - could be an 'Ah, I get it now' moment.

Sometimes children can teach us all a lesson! Nice little tale, but without much of a pay off other than the sweet act of Zoe. If that’s all you were trying to convey then you succeeded. Well done.

Steve

Collins,

Thanks for reading.

Of course there's no heads or tails dealing with chips (potato chips to make it clear).
Cody tried to be a smartass, fooling his sister, getting all the chips himself, but
Zoe got him, outsmarted him. Better to share than being selfish. A smart sweet sister.
Simple as that.

Frank

Hey Steve,

Thanks for reading.

Yes, I just wanted to show the sweet act of Zoe, let's share.

Frank

Thanks for clarifying Frank.

In hindsight, I'm not sure why I voiced that feedback - Sometimes things just don't land when I read them, so more my bag than yours.

Cheers