This was really good! Fun and Quirky.
Loved the dialogue and all the references.

I was actually going to write my own Beatles story about how Ringo Starr is actually a clone or something or other which I heard on a reality show years back, but I couldn't find it online so decided against it. Anyway, thought we'd see a Beatles script so...

Actually, I may have confused poor Ringo with Paul. A decent effort, predictable, which is its biggest fault. Everything just happens without much conflict. A lot of explaining but not much action, we don't even see him dying -- that'd be a start. Avoid the talky BS, it just brings scripts down, audiences like to be entertained. I'm actually surprised with the twenty year skip, you'd think we'd see the new Paul in action with a few reactions but guess not. I'd probably also start with that. Not my thing unfortunately.

P.S. to my earlier post. Nice to see Stringer Bell writing something. Luther always did seem like the literary type.

This one was fun. Mostly an exercise in trying to put Beatle’s lines into as much dialogue as possible. It does that well, but sorta to the detriment of the story. I think more could’ve been done with the concert. Maybe make Billy’s performance so awful that the Beatle’s decide to stop playing live (which of course they did). For me the assassination angle was kind of a downer. I prefer to think both Lennon and McCartney faked their deaths, moved to Mexico and started a mariachi band.

Not much to say by way of improvement. Nice job.

Nice idea.

But I did find the constant lyrics in the dialogue distracting and used as dialogue I don't think it works. Didn't read well.

Nice finish though.

The whole thing just wasn't for me.

Good luck.

It's a brilliant idea of getting from the "Paul is dead" legend to the death of John Lennon in the same story. However, while you used some of the Beatles' lyrics appropriately, quite of few of them felt wedged in here, with no relation to the story itself.  It was like a mallet over the head saying "hey, look how clever I am."

In all honesty the story was a breeze to read, and if you are even remotely familiar with the Beatles (I can't believe someone's comment earlier -- "I've heard of them" -- whoa) then some of these would bring a smile to your face, others a groan.  All in all it's a good effort in trying to turn the lyrics into a comprehensible story.  That's hard to do, so very good job here.

Gary

I was going to review this, um, yesterday, but I got a little preoccupied.

Here goes nothing!

I didn't find much that I didn't like. But the Beatles stopped touring in 1966 because their newer (post-Rubber Soul) music had complex arrangements (e.g. the strings on Eleanor Rigby).

While bold and italics make for an easier read, they are often frowned upon in (spec) screenplays.

If you want the Billy Shears line to be more accurate, it's:

"So, let me introduce to you, the one and only, Billy Shears."

Other than that, the only other thing wrong is that Don didn't give you a Beatles pen name, such as:

L. Leonard Rigby (Eleanor Rigby)
Barry Paul (Bury Paul)
Barry Fields (Strawberry Fields Forever)
Russ Wall (I Am the Walrus)

---

Rating method:
A(+ -) Jude = A+, A, A-
Let it B(+ -) = B+, B, B-
Loose C(+ -) in the Sky with Diamonds = C+, C, C-
Ob-la-D(+ -) = D+, D, D-
Help! = F

I give your story a solid Let it B. Good job.

Can't say I liked this nearly as much as some of the other reviewers.  The urban legend here is really not explored at all.  Some imposter named Billy shows up for a couple scenes and that's the last we ever see or hear of him.  There's absolutely no emotional reaction by the other Beatles to the news that Paul is dead.   The script is much more concerned with jamming as many Beatle lyrics as possible into the dialogue than it is with actually telling a story.   The result is a script with a gimmicky, punny feel.  

I think this legend could have made for a great "what if" story.  If Paul had indeed died, how would Martin, Epstein and the lads pulled off this ruse with the "new Paul."  

Fun read.  The references are a bit forced in places, but that's understandable.  I'll just let it be.  

This was quite clever in so far as managing to get the Beatles lyrics into the dialogue, but it went too far for me as I had to re-read a lot of it to see if I could recognise the song it came from. Don't get me wrong, I like the Beatles, but it interrupted things a bit too much for my liking.

The ending seemed nicely wrapped up and timed, and was a good place to end it.

I quite liked it though.

Turn Me On Dead Man

I'm not so into the Beatles-hype generally.

I asked myself how it could work at all if the actors already are styled as Beatle-doubles (which isn't a problem per se but...) but the plot is also about Paul getting replaced by a double. No, esthetically it just can't work with Fake Beatles finding a Fake Fake Paul while we haven't seen Fake Paul No.1...imo
Good luck.

I tell you something, this is a great OWC effort.  Way beyond compare.

Please, please me and say the words I long to hear, that you've been working on this for years, not days.  Who in the world do you think you are, a super star?  Well, right you are.

No one's really watching us.

What a great UL. Awesome idea. This was very clever. Nice job incorporating so many lyrics. Don't know what else to say. This was very entertaining. Great job.

And the reward for most descriptions involving hair goes to…

Writing could be leaner but I’m still with this – one thing that bothers me is that the exposition is very full on and there doesn’t seem to be much emotion involved with the characters. Maybe I’m over thinking about this one though.

I don’t think you need the time elements in the slugs – a later would have been enough.

Wow! These hair descriptions just keep on coming. It’s kinda annoying but maybe that’s why you’re doing it.

Not much to say on this one, it was simple enough and didn’t stray too far from the urban legend. Some peeps will get a kick out of dialogue, but I found it overblown. I think you had fun here, so I will take it that way and say that it worked.

I wasn’t keen on the character descriptions but that’s a small detail. Overall, it just wasn’t for me – fun for peeps to reference Beatles songs etc but I’m more of a Backstreet Boys fan so it went straight over my head.

Entire title page is to be plain 12 point courier, title all caps only, please.
Turn off your program's unnecessary “Mores and Continueds” feature.
Very clever circle-blend of UL + actual history.
The lines from Beatles songs were well thought out, placed, and woven into the story. A true Beatles fan would likely appreciate the fun and games of identifying each of them, others may grow tiresome of it.
I think this would make a satisfactory short film, fun to produce and show off. Nice.