Writing style:
Good.

Dialogue:
Nothing to complain about.

Character:
Believable.

Story:
I like using an urban legend to give an explanation for a real event. I wish you put more drama in it. Showing us the real suffering and struggle of John for hiding the truth. The story has to stand on its own legs. If this was about a made up band would the story be worth telling?

Overall:
A good concept that could have been executed a little better.

David

This was inspired stuff.

It could’ve just been a straight account of the McCartney-being-dead-since-the-60s myth but not only did you cleverly tie it in to John Lennon’s assassination but also peppered the dialogue with many of their song lyrics.

Although, said dialogue sometimes sounded clunky because of this, especially from Brian Epstein for some reason, it still worked for the most part and I have to commend the sheer effort and ingenuity above all else. Plus, being a big Beatles fan, I got a nerdy kick out of identifying them and the songs.

It goes without saying (but I’m gonna say it anyway) and its probably been mentioned already above but this is most definitely the script Stevie wish he wrote You had a sure vote from the Victorian within the first page.

Col.

Quoted from Colkurtz8 David This was inspired stuff. It could’ve just been a straight account of the McCartney-being-dead-since-the-60s myth but not only did you cleverly tie it in to John Lennon’s assassination but also peppered the dialogue with many of their song lyrics. Although, said dialogue sometimes sounded clunky because of this, especially from Brian Epstein for some reason, it still worked for the most part and I have to commend the sheer effort and ingenuity above all else. Plus, being a big Beatles fan, I got a nerdy kick out of identifying them and the songs. It goes without saying (but I’m gonna say it anyway) and its probably been mentioned already above but this is most definitely the script Stevie wish he wrote You had a sure vote from the Victorian within the first page. Col.

Thanks Col - much appreciated