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Mabel (currently 666 views)
Don
Posted: December 11th, 2018, 1:17pm
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So, what are you writing?
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Mabel by Brandi Self - Short, Drama, Fantasy - A depressed young man struggles to keep up with his girlfriend who keeps disappearing at the most inopportune times. 9 pages - pdf format
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Revision History (2 edits; 1 reasons shown)
Don revised draft
RBW_14
Posted: December 14th, 2018, 12:02am
New
I write stuff I think is cool, just like you do.
Hello Brandi. I liked your script. The story kept me guessing every page and I thought I knew what was going on but you proved me wrong, which I feel was exactly what you were going for. The subtle changes in characters and detouring dialogue was written in great detail and very easy to follow. I saw everything happening and was only confused from Johnny's point of view which again, I'm guessing was intentional.
RBW
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DanielW
Posted: December 21st, 2018, 4:35pm
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Location Melbourne, Australia
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Hi Brandi,
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