Thanks for the input Max - Will be removing it in a re-write.

Think this is a lesson for me to go with my gut instinct. The original was without the police, then later I just kind of tacked it on the end.

Thanks for the help guys. Helpful as always

Matt

Matthew.

Overall, nice job.

I think the opening is just a little bit rushed. I think some more visuals on the children, mothers pushing carriages, etc would be a nice tone setter before he revs the engine.

Agree with others with the cop at the end.

Thanks for the read and comments Dave, appreciated.

Interesting that you say the opening feels rushed. I did rush this one out before the OWC started so I could concentrate on that. So yeah, interesting that it shows in the story. I do tend to rush my shorts in general so I can move onto the next - Think I need to practice patience rather than chomping at the bit to get the next one done.

It's pretty universal about the ending lol I have changed it in a rewrite.

Thanks for your input

Matt

My pleasure