Scarred by AJ Lovell - Short, Drama - An old man recalls his harrowing time spent in a Nazi concentration camp evoking strong memories and emotions. 4 pages - pdf format

Writer interested in feedback on this work

Really nice story, and I didn't see the climax coming. The long, long blocks of dialog seemed a bit heavy handed in my opinion, and sometimes a bit more formal -- even poetic -- than most people talk ("...like a school of Piranha stripping a bone the children would devour it..."). But mostly I thought this was powerful and touching.

Quoted from JohnMcCarthy Really nice story, and I didn't see the climax coming. The long, long blocks of dialog seemed a bit heavy handed in my opinion, and sometimes a bit more formal -- even poetic -- than most people talk ("...like a school of Piranha stripping a bone the children would devour it..."). But mostly I thought this was powerful and touching.

Thanks John. I wasn't too happy with the large blocks of dialogue but I wanted the story told as simply as possible. Ideally I would have had flash backs with a V.O. I kept it simple so it's very low budget and easy to shoot.