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Lottery Winner (currently 270 views)
Don
Posted: September 27th, 2020, 10:28am
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Lottery Winner by Simon Parker - Short, Drama - Winning the lottery, Ryan is softly spoken but now confined to a wheelchair following a car crash. Ryan is looked after by his jealous older brother, learning that his brother is to blame for his car crash, Ryan's life is now in danger. 5 pages - pdf format
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AndyJ
Posted: September 27th, 2020, 1:51pm
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I didn't think the dialogue felt natural. You tell us it's PRESENT DAY and then tell us its the present day in the action line. Also you say FLASHBACK: ONE YEAR AGO, the FLASHBACK: is for the reader but how will the viewer know it's a year ago. You could have SUPER: One Year Earlier.
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