Remember to watch spelling e.g. shouldn't BROILING be BOILING? Maybe instead of...
EXT. FIELD - DAY
...describe what kind of a field it is, just to make it a bit more interesting and give us the image clearly in our mind.
Instead of saying...
Roughly 40, his features are caked in dried mud.
...just say
Roughly 40, caked in mud.
Try to get as much necessary information down in as little words as possible. You get a much smoother and quicker pace when you read it I find.
But yeah, nice concept, liked it, keep up the good word. |