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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Short Drama Scripts  ›  The Dirt Road
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FrankH and 3 Guests

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Don
Posted: June 5th, 2021, 1:12pm Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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The Dirt Road by Steven Sallie - Short, Drama - Ben wakes up in a field with no memory of how he got there. Things only get stranger when he finds a dirt road inhabited by some unusual people. 8 pages - pdf format

Writer interested in feedback on this work



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AlexanderLR
Posted: June 7th, 2021, 6:37am Report to Moderator
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Remember to watch spelling e.g. shouldn't BROILING be BOILING?
Maybe instead of...

                EXT. FIELD - DAY

...describe what kind of a field it is, just to make it a bit more interesting and give us the image clearly in our mind.

Instead of saying...

                 Roughly 40, his features are caked in dried mud.

...just say

                 Roughly 40, caked in mud.

Try to get as much necessary information down in as little words as possible. You get a much smoother and quicker pace when you read it I find.

But yeah, nice concept, liked it, keep up the good word.
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