Exalted Mines by Byron James - Short, Drama - A 1 hour period drama, based on true events. In the late 19th century at the height of South Africa's diamond rush, British imperialist Cecil Rhodes' insatiable ambition quickly turns into a game of violent pursuits, as he uses any means necessary to gain power and influence, and form what will become the world’s most notorious diamond corporation…De Beers. 62 pages

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Writer interested in feedback on this work

Being American, and not knowing much about the history of the African diamond mining industry or Zoar Wars found the subject matter interesting. You did a pretty good job of bringing the historical era and mining of that time to life. However, I never found any character that i connected with, that i felt any emotion for; nobody to root for. Overall it did leave me wondering where you were going to go with this story over a series of episodes. Hated the ending on a gay man sex scene with Rhodes screaming he wanted it all...but that's probably just me being female hetro not into gay men hooking up. Thought the fiancee being oblivious to Rhodes being gay pretty wasteful of a character. Would like to see her be more powerful and not so naive, perhaps get one over on him in the end, but maybe that's where your story will go in later episodes hard to tell at this point seeing only one episode.

Saw minor technical issues with the script:
p.24-26 You introduce character as Yves but then spell it like YEVS for character dialog
p.39 does "Staring" need to be capitalized here?
p.40 Spelling for "tussal" think you meant tussle
p.54 Spelling for "clime-Holders" think you meant claim-holders

I appreciate your feedback regarding my pilot. I'm an American as well, but was asked by my reps to craft a pilot about the founding of the De Beers Dimond company  a while back and nearly got picked up by a network, but obviously to no avail. I truly appreciate your feedback as any criticisms is always an opportunity for me to improve upon my writing. Having said that, I will address several of your points or hopefully clarify some of your critiques.  

The not having anybody to root for is the first time I've heard that specific criticism before, so I will have to look into that one a little closer to see what the characters are lacking.

So, this is just a pilot, where the characters develop and revealed as the episodes and subsequent seasons play out. Rhode's fiancé, Nettie was not so much oblivious as she was a woman of the times. She was in a juxtaposition of being a naïve young woman of upper-society, who'd never experienced the world and attempting to find her independence/place in the brutal reality that would become New Rush. Her plotline actually becomes a central arc throughout the show.

The ending scene where Rhodes declares in his climax that he "wants it all" is not at all about the sexual act that he is engaged in at that moment. It is referring to his overall ambition of wanting everything and willing to do whatever to achieve it. Even if it involves him doing the most depraved of acts. Earlier in that same scene he quotes “The soul must be sacrificed, the hope of immortality must die. Accomplishments must be here and now” by British historian Windwood Reade, because he is willing to sell his eternal soul for the accomplishments of now.  

And thanks for the technical feedback as well, appreciate it.