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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Short Horror  ›  Sleepover
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Don
Posted: June 3rd, 2019, 3:15pm Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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Sleepover by Curtis James Coffey - Short, Horror - A young girl is terrorized in the middle of the night during her first ever sleepover at a friend's house. 9 pages - pdf format

Writer interested in feedback on this work



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Fais85
Posted: June 6th, 2019, 6:06am Report to Moderator
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Interesting twist. Liked this one.
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CurtisJames52
Posted: June 11th, 2019, 2:24pm Report to Moderator
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I'm pleased that you enjoyed it. To be honest, I wasn't sure about the twist at all, when I wrote it, so I'm glad that it worked!
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JohnLopiccolo
Posted: June 14th, 2019, 5:38pm Report to Moderator
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Interesting.  It's an enjoyable read.  The dialogue is well written and the characters come to life.  Very nicely done.

The only thing I'd point out is to get rid of the numbers next to the sluglines.   They shouldn't be there in this stage of the script.  But otherwise, good job!
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CurtisJames52
Posted: June 21st, 2019, 1:34pm Report to Moderator
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Gah. I didn't even realize the scenes were numbered. The software I use must automatically do it.
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