Baby by Simon Parker - Short, Horror - A new mother who wishes she never had her child is met by an evil demon who offers her the chance for that wish to come true. 4 pages - pdf format

Writer interested in feedback on this work

I liked this. Short but horrid. Is this an analogy on Postpartum Depression?

Screaming up at the ceiling, up at the baby.
I think just leaving it "up at the ceiling" would suffice. Less words.

You also referred to the "demon" as "it" on page 2 but then "him" on page 3. That happens sometimes.
Overall I liked the idea.

Great little story. Vivid and scary!

And I agree with the comment above re: Postpartum Depression.

Noticed a couple typos, but they didn't detract from the read. It's short, but that's part of what makes it remarkable. I think it was Mark Twain once who in a letter to a friend apologized that it was too long. "I didn't have time to write a short one," he added.

Not much to say about the story, really. It works within its own parameters, but doesn't do an awful lot for me. Not to say it's bad, but that it felt a little novelistic in its approach, and there's no surprise element, which would have given it a needed kick.

To be quite honest, the thing I was thinking about most throughout was, this isn't proper screenwriting format!?

Hello Parker,

     This is a nice short read.

       I think that there has to be connection between the demon and the mother. I suppose that the demon presents the evil side of the mother that wants to get rid of her child. But at last she accepts the reality and kills the demon aka her evil.

    Please do correct me if I am wrong.