The Mistress by Ellis Marsh - Short, Horror - A married artist convinces a potential lover to join him at his holiday home, but soon discovers his guilt will stand between him and his work. 23 pages - pdf format

Writer interested in feedback on this work

Hi, Ellis,

A really nice take of a 'painting change'  themed story. An artist looking for inspiration and amidst that takes advantage of the situation. Not sure I would call it a sin, I mean the whole thing was in an agreement but he surely paid the price. I'll assume that THE MISTRESS was a replica of his wife, from whom he wanted to end his relation. Although a part of me still thinks that he killed her, I don't know why but it resonates.

The dialogs between Sven and Charlotte were really good. I could even sense that they knew each other for long and that's not the first time they are calling for it. It is really hard to articulate the vibes of subtlety and to deliver it clearly without giving much, I mean that's subtlety, lol. Really nice.

The part of representing the physical and emotional tension was also good. The way Sven and Charlotte talked after 'their night'  sounded well enough mature and not puerile, that normally goes the way. The ending could have been a bit better or maybe clever since it was a bit to fast but considering the whole material, this was a pay-off. Betrayal duly chastened.

Looking for more, brother.

Good luck.

Hey Yuvraj,

Thanks for your feedback and for taking the time to read it - really appreciate it!

I get what you mean about the ending, I always felt it was a bit abrupt and maybe not of a pace with the build up.

Thanks!

Ellis

No problem, Ellis. Work your way.

Good luck.