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It Wants To Kill Me (currently 306 views)
Don
Posted: August 22nd, 2020, 10:41am
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So, what are you writing?
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It Wants to Kill Me by Stephen Charles Graff - Short, Horror - A man wanders into a train station claiming that an unseen entity is trying to kill him and he has the horrific cell phone photos to prove it. 16 pages - pdf format
Writer interested in feedback on this work
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Yuvraj
Posted: August 22nd, 2020, 11:14am
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Hi, Stephen, This is jarring. I mean the formatting is wrong. Considering you have written it with the help of Microsoft Word, the margins are off. Not within the realms of screenwriting format. Try some free screenwriting software. They are pre-coded as per screenwriting format. Why don't the characters have names? Why call them WOMAN, WOMAN2, and so on? A script should be visual. It should show, not tell. Dialogs were confusing to me. All in all, I didn't get the story. Sorry if it hurts, but reading it was bizarre. Regardless, good luck.
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ChrisV
Posted: August 23rd, 2020, 9:56am
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I'm with Yuvraj, poorly formatted, and gave up after page 3. I suggest to troll sites like this and learn, watch Youtube videos on screenwriting. I'm one not to criticize, especially on spelling and grammar...but proper formatting is a must. Try Writers Duet, it's free and easy AF. GOOD LUCK and keep writing.
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