Matters of the Flesh by Ben Tucker - Short, Horror - A popular high school teacher goes missing, sending a small town reeling in disbelief. 4 pages - pdf format

Writer interested in feedback on this work

Ben:

Write a logline. It will help you attract readers.

All of your scene headings are incorrect and in some cases - like the opening scene, missing entirely. Should be something like:

INT. HOSPITAL - ADMISSIONS AREA - NIGHT

Learn scene headers = Just Google how to write scene headings and you will find a ton of info.

Watch your terminology versus the tone of your script. You're writing a thriller/horror and you're using terms like balls deep, frank and beans - they dont' match as they have more of a comedic vibe.

There are a lof of other writing issues - fix the scene headings and repost - after you do that I'll add m ore suggestions

Hi Ben,

Nothing more to add what's been said by Dave. It's not properly formatted. Read other scripts and get familiar with the format.  

Good luck.