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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Short Horror  ›  Morfed
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  Author    Morfed  (currently 357 views)
Don
Posted: June 11th, 2021, 4:21pm Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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Morfed by Yuvraj Rajwanshi - Short, Horror - The terrifying times when dissatisfaction leads to extreme measures.  2 pages - pdf format

Writer interested in feedback on this work



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Yuvraj
Posted: June 12th, 2021, 10:55am Report to Moderator
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Thank you Don for posting.


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Zack
Posted: June 12th, 2021, 11:24am Report to Moderator
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Gave this a read, Yuvraj. A decent concept for a super-short. Definitely needs to be developed more. Right now it's a twist without a setup. It'd also require a bit of a budget. lol

The writing itself is quite rough and awkward. Quite a few typos as well. Title also seems like a typo. Did you mean "Morphed"? If not, what does "Morfed" mean?

Sorry to come across as so negative, Dude. But this one needs a rewrite.
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BarryJohn
Posted: June 12th, 2021, 11:27am Report to Moderator
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Who am I? A man with a hundred stories..

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Nicolas Cage and John Travolta in "face-off" take a step forward.  


Who am I? A man with a hundred stories... you want to read one?
Analyst, mentor, competition reader/judge, film critic, magazine article/blogger.  
https://simpsonliteraryagency.com/script-analyst
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Yuvraj
Posted: June 14th, 2021, 2:52am Report to Moderator
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Thanks Zack and Barry for reading and commenting.


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