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Loved everything about this. Easy to understand, flowed well, liked that you went full on horror towards the end. Reminds me of the kind of story you'd find in R. L. Stine's Goosebumps. I have two brothers and remember sharing a room with them years ago, so I could definitely relate to the arm dangling! Loved 'twisted lips' and 'swollen tongues' and 'their screams are eternal'. Strong choices. If I had to pick out one thing, shouldn't 'grarled' be 'gnarled'? Well done.
Great story - well written, for all the dialogue that was sharp and to the point. Action lines too, that carried the story forward in a well structured/paced manner.
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Nice read. It can be difficult to create conflict with people that aren’t mortal enemies. Those small, yet significant disagreements. I think you did a nice job here between the siblings. Each sibling is on the opposite end of how they feel about the room, the past, and selling or not selling the house.
I was anticipating the hand not being her brother's hand. But, nice setup/payoff with the rocks and Aunt Edith.
BLB
Commodus: But the Emperor Claudius knew that they were up to something. He knew they were busy little bees. And one night he sat down with one of them and he looked at her and he said, "Tell me what you have been doing, busy little bee..."
If I'd one quibble I would remove the word 'inherited' here, as Doug's next line about selling the house spells it out without the need for exposition.
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