Hello to all the writers here.

It's not that you lost me, it's really a lot of detail and I think unnecessary detail and a lot of dialogue that muddles the story.
So, it reads random the way it's written, when it's not a random story.

Maybe you shouldn't start with a line and a crowd, select fewer people, think of a character you could get away with maybe.

I like the fact they are all roque, like the story, didn't like the execution.
All the inserts are funny and visual. I applaud them - your inserts!

Quoted from Spqr Very good script. Liked the action, the characters were good, and the description was well done. I thought the ending, though,  where Darnell and Amid go after each other, was a letdown. I see these two wacky characters taking off, arm in arm, looking for a new "mannequin" in order to keep the Halloween store's display new and fresh.

Ah, yes. So, Chris and I were already working on the new ending when you wrote this comment. I think you'll like what we came up with! It might feel... familiar.

NOTE: look for the new version in the horror shorts section... sent to Don, so it'll post at some point soon.

Thanks to everyone for the notes!

Alright, everybody.

This is officially the version with the new ending. Much more satisfying, I hope.