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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Short Horror  ›  Reflection
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  Author    Reflection  (currently 427 views)
Don
Posted: October 2nd, 2022, 12:39pm Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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Reflection by John & Amanda Gilligan - Short, Horror, Psychological -  David struggles as he tries to protect his family, but from who? 12 pages - pdf format

New writer interested in feedback on this work, please be nice


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Yuvraj
Posted: October 2nd, 2022, 5:50pm Report to Moderator
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Hi, John & Amanda, gave this a read.

I have to say that these types of stories are done a million times in horror. A dead person coming back to haunt people, especially if the cause of death involves a road accident. So, it was predictable. However, if this was one of the very first scripts written, then it was a decent effort.

There are formatting issues present in the script. I assume you have been using MS Word for screenwriting. There are free OS screenwriting software available like Trelby, which auto-formats the scripts as per the standards.

And yes, if you aren't aware, on SS you need to comment on other scripts for you to get more feedback on your scripts. You need to participate on the board. Hope to see you on the board.

Good luck.


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amajon1981
Posted: October 3rd, 2022, 5:21pm Report to Moderator
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Thanks Yuvraj, I really appreciate that you took the time to read my script and give me feedback. It is my very first attempt at writing a script and I do see the issues that you pointed out.
I will take your advice on board and try to improve on it, thank you.

I have read your scripts and I will give you feedback as best I can as I'm new to this.

I forgot to mention this before I didn't intend it to be a ghost story, the old guy is meant to be representation of his guilt that slowly drove him mad.

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amajon1981  -  October 7th, 2022, 7:35pm
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